Monday, January 19, 2009

i don't think it is depressing

It is one of those days that I could fake being sick and come home half day from work. my reason today was because the snow was falling, and to not jeopardise my productivity at work (in British Culture you are pardoned when getting distracted byt hings like falling snow(I'm an alien anyway so I have that extra edge to procrastinate at work), I have called in half day sick. So when I got home, I literally spent the whole time I could salvage by looking at the falling snow. it is so pretty, probably one of the prettiest thing in sight. there were large flakes (like a bundle of falkes all conjoined together), and there were tiny, sleet-like flakes which looked like rain from a far distance. while waiting for my tub to be filled I went to gaze at the snowfall (ah this is one day i really destressed optimally with a nettle tea, and lavender bath), i watched the snow fall, and thought. Why do I complain every now and again about life? I always rant about not having any happiness in this depressing place. but little things in life ahve to be sought from within, like even watching the falling snow can be so therapeutic.

after tub was filled, i lit some scented candles, let my venetian blinds on so I could be able to see the snow from my bathtub, and dragged my bottle of pinot grigio and wine glass to the tub, sipping and savoruing every taste of pinot grigio in my m0uth, pampering my sight with the crystal clear whitish snow, and playing with shaun the swiiming sheep in my bath tub. i chose to be happier from within because i know theres nothing much i can do being away from where i really belong but to hang in there, so i'm basically hanging on with a smile on the face.

toodle loo

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

It's too quiet..

Songs that make me cry:-


"Where I Stood" - Missy Higgins

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood


_________________________________________________

This song REALLY brings tears into my eyes. The words are too sad, and often I feel that way, minus the 'death' factor in it. You should listen to it and you will know how I feel.

Civil Twilight - Quiet in my Town

Today i heard that someone left this earth
That someone disappeared left no mark here
Today i heard that someone just got up and left himself
Lying on the ground

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town

Today two boys disappeared without noise
And i wish that i was them flying somewhere overhead
And tonight in silence, two lovers hate and find
One is bored
One is angry
But neither one of them is right, oh

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Oh, today is
Today is quiet in my town

Oh, somebody say something
Somebody say something
Somebody say something to me
Oh, someday say something
Someday say something
Someday say something cause i can't take this silence anymore
Anymore
[quiet in my town lyrics on http://www.kovideo.net/ ]
Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is too quiet in my town

Today i heard the sound of birds and i wish that i was anywhere but here

It's too quiet, too quiet
It's too quite, too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
In my town, in here, in here, in here,
It's too quite in my town

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is too quiet in my town

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town

I wonder why I always start my New Year with sad posts like that. But that's how I feel. Sad. x

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy new year!

I'm finally back home. What a cold morning it has been today, armed with a steaming hot mug of tea with lemon slice and watching spongebob squarepants, I sit here and pen down my thoughts and what has happened throughout the festive season.

I partied so much last night my knees became so bad and my ears started to swell up, now I do not feel well. it has been temperatures below freezing and it is crucial to keep warm. times like these make me miss home tremendously. i spent my night at the birdcage and revolution downing vodka sticks using that privilege promotion i got as a valued member of revolution vodka bar. since nick was at work and I was done having dinner with the mother-in-law and valerie, i called kirstie and she picked me up and we went into manchester. if i had the cash i wouldve spent new years out of the cold miserable place. what didnt amaze me was the firework display at the london eye. 15 minutes of nothing but sheer carelessness in the planning of the firework routine, the whole display cost taxpayers money £2million its not funny. i compare the display in sydney to the one in london, oh the one in london very well can be compared with deliberate bombardment in Iraq or Afghanistan, coincidentally by the same British and American idiots. Bah humbug.

I had a pretty low key chirstmas as a married couple. we invited the mother in law because she didnt plan to be alone for chirstmas but the renovation in her home has halted all that she wanted to do so we couldnt bear for her to spend chirstmas alone and we cooked roasted pork and gammon (turkey is shite, and we're not a typical family with 10 kids celebrating xmas anyway), and had roasted veg smothered in melted butter and english herbs. it was divine, and to die for. ad we had ice cream with apple sauce and a huge serving of xmas pudding in sherry, port, rum and english winter fruits. aaah..and the free flow of wine. mummy took it abit to the extreme she literally had to be carried home. the dogs had a brilliant time chasing each other around the christmas tree. it was a pretty sight to watch. all that has been said, christmas can be gravely boring in this shithole, but its up to you to lighten it up with your family, give them the love and attention and keep the family well fed, and you will have a blast. Nice hot roast, with hot sweet wine on a snowy, frosty Christmas is divine - whats not to love?. What about Xmas presents? I got a Cashmere mink from the mummy in law, Nick gave me a wooly furry and cuddly jumper to battle out the extreme weather conditions here, Aunt Liz gave me a candle set and a spa gift card, and Val gave me a family address book and a friend to accompany me in my sunday aromatherapy baths - Shaun the Swimming sheep. I gave mummy a Mamma Mia DVD (she loves the movie to bits), Nick a VW Mark 1 collectible, and Val a candle from Morrisons. All in all a perfect way to celebrate Christmas. Nick turned 33 on Monday so I cooked up a feast and bought a surprice birthday cake with candles that spelt out his age. All was good until 15 minutes before he arrived home - I thought my main course got destroyed but it was divine actually. My Christmas decorations caught on fire, I accidentally burnt my table cloth with the lit up bud of the incense stick, and some stupid part of me thought birthday candles can be lit up for hours. so I lit up the damn candles like 10 minutes before he arrived and when I got to the table, the wax destroyed the birthday cake and the alphabets that spelt out 33 could not be read - so there. Happy birthday my dear husband and lets have a waxy cake to celebrate your occassion. Yup so we had a feast and I was glad that he was happy despite the series of domestic catastrophe.

What I absolutely love about this place is the Christmas and Boxing Day sales. they are to die for. people with the cash can defnitely splurge out but what with the recession hitting the nation terribly and more unemployment, not many people have that littel penny or two to splurge out. I am thankful I could use the sales to get some littel luxuries with the cost of close to nothing. I got myself aKaren Millen winter coat for going out to posh places and formal events. £390 depreciated to a mere £50. whats not to love about a bargain as such? Next is on 1/2 price sale for absolutely everything and I love Next home stuff and bedding so i filled my shopping cart with bedding and more bedding. Afterall, I love my bed very much.

New Year Resolutions? Absolutely none! I just want my marriage to blossom and last, my job to be stable in these unpredictable job market, my families to stay healthy and live long for my sake, for my sister to be happy and healthy as she is so far away from me. aND FOR WORLD POVERTY TO NOT END, BUT the pain to be eased.

xx