Whatever bobbins!

comparisons

2010-07-24T10:06:00.002+01:00

prompted by deb's blog spot about being in malaysia...
what I like about england:-

apart from the chavs, people are actually very courteous in this country. for example, if you're about to pay for parking at a parking spot, there'll always be someone else who still has vailidity in their parking ticket and would never fail to offer you to have their parking ticket because they are about to leave.
the shopping. having been here i think shopping here is so much better.
the fact little luxuries REALLY dont cost you a fortune
anonymity - you can do whatever you feel like doing without people judging you. i can walk around with my big curly unkempt hair without people looking at me and thinking im a hobo or jakun or something
the countryside. I know some villages in malaysia are drop dead gorgeous, but the countryside really feels like being in a fairy tale.
fairy tale castles
old chruches and the fact national heritage from centuries are still been preserved
gardens in the summer
flowers
snow during winter, and white, mellow christmas
the assortment of cheese
environmental friendly people
one of a few few foreign countries that dont make you go all homesick. its not the fact that there are so many foreign people though.
fruit cider
getting a £16 return flight to norway for the weekend (all taxes included)
countryside pubs
dogs - most loved dogs come from the british aisles anyway, think border collies, beagles, sheepdogs, etc.
sainsburys, waitrose, and m&s - nothing ever EVER beat these 3 supermarkets
desserts!!!
sky TV

what I hate about england

the government being too kind to fake asylum seekers and fucking chavvy single mothers
the next generation, hopeless and unreliable
asbos
narrow roads make it terrible to drive
well mainly, the government
only 8 days of public holidays for the year
the weather sometimes

what I love and hate about malaysia

my parents and friends
mamak food
festival open houses despite the crowd
well basically what deb said in her post. too lazy to write down

Bah its too early I'm going to bed. Just blogging nonsensically to let everybody know that I am still alive :))

My current fetish

2010-02-21T08:40:00.003Z

He is my perfectly symmetrical snowflake. Enough said! He's Matt Lanter btw. I had a really wild dream of us getting it on..and I never looked back. The voice, the body, aaarrrggghh!!
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On a bleaker note, I had a terrible week at work. Fucking boss finally smothered me with her true colours - she is a moronic, schizophrenic, control freak ultra psychopath of a bitch who has nothing but jealously, spite, and cruelty..sheer cruelty in her. I just can't bloody wait to finish my notice period. Why does it have to be a long fucking 6 weeks?! All I can say is I've never ever EVER met or known someone who has got such a cruel heart. She is so two faced she is even more evil than Gollum (when Smeagol turns to Gollum anyway) AND everyone at fucking Nursebank should fucking die as well! All I can say is if I was a manager I wouldnt let my junior colleagues who want to move on top of the career ladder be treated the way I was treated by my boss. My dad suggested I send a picture of my boss so he could ask his Malay friends to cast some black magic on her. LOL. i heart my dad.
__________________________________________
On a brighter note, I'm going snowball fighting with my dearest nephew and then I'm off to see Ms Charlotte Wong in Manchester for some dim sum and sushi. I felt bad for letting Nick stay at home last night. I should've gone bowling last night with his friends so I cna imagine that every spin of the ball is fucking boss's head hitting all 10 pins down a strike and about a hundred ore rounds after that. She'd be dead meat!

That's all folks! Have an amazing day/week ahead all of you readers!

I'm freeeeee finally!

2010-02-14T08:53:00.004Z

Well as in, finally I have found the time and and eliminated my 'cant be arsed' attitude towards blogging.
I left readers previously with my confusion and dilemma towards my current workplace but now, I have found the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am still working for the same NHS Trust, but with a better job and better pay! Being so tired from all the kicking in the teeth that my fucking fat boss is giving me at Clinical coding, I looked up our weekly bulletin for temporary jobs/secondments within the Trust. I saw an opening as a project assistant in Strategic Planning & Development in the Women & Children Board, so I went to the Project Leader's office for a chat. Suffice to say she liked me and immediately turned that temporary opening to a permanent one! Yay me! So yeah Jasmine, I do the same thing as you now, but I do projects for Gynaeology, Obstetrics, and things LOL. Still not as glam and cool as yours, but its better than reading about dead people all the time. so it's ok! :)
My second job is still this fucking job at Coding, because it takes someone 4-5 months to be recruited from one post to another in a ccompany that employs 12,000 people. What with all the police checks and all again! le sigh...
My third job.....in a daycare centre. I am eventually planning to embark on a childcare career because it is soooo nice to work with children. AND. the money is comparable of those who work in multi-million pounds financial institutions. PLUS i get more holidays and I am eligible for my own home all paid by the government for providing this service. so yeah. It's as though I've had an epiphany..all these are finally coming in with sheer clarity. So fingers crossed for me that it all works well!
My sister is getting married in September so I'll be back in Malaysia for that.
Now that I'm going to be a big-time workoholic, I can't be taking 3 buses and walking for a few good miles just to get from one place to another. I need to get a car and an international driver's licence. That's one good thing about the NHS - you can get a company car provided it's going to be solely used for work/leisure purposes on a limited annual mileage. So I was thinking a VW Passat..at least it's under my affordable salary range..

Like I said, I need to get my driver's licence sorted out!
I've been ever so lazy lately. I've put on so much of weight, I feel sick quite often and sometimes I just want to curl up and die of boredom. I've got this portfolio thing to sort out and since Nick is at work now and I have the computer all to myself, I might as well get a head start on it or it will never been done!
The story of my mundane life.
Toodle loos!!!! xxxx

What do I do?

2009-10-09T14:10:00.002+01:00

I have never ever blogged about work before, because I thought, work is just an inane pile of junk that I do 8 hours a day to get the moolah to scrape through just with the necessities. But, day by day, it's getting from bad to worse.

It's so sad to say that I am very envious with other people who are so much better off than me, and I've always wondered, why did I choose this bloody job when I could be using my networks to try to scrape through another job? Reason being, I told myself, the NHS is recession-proof and the competition is not so intense because afterall, it is the 3rd largest employer in the world. And I need to learn to stick to something, now at the age of 24, rather than job hopping, and always starting again from the drawing board.

I really regret this decision. I mean, working in this job. I have gone for countless of interviews within the NHS and not nail even a single one. Half of the NHS workforce dont even have minimum qualifications, so why should I still sit back and go through my day to day life with a bunch of lowlives who cant even save a document to their desktop?

I have been having alot of troubles at work, when I personally feel I haven't done anything wrong. I just don't get it though, I've been getting lotsa praises about my work and when I had my PDR, they made me feel as though I'm the worst thing that has happened to my department? Everyday, I step into my house from work without a dry eye and smiley face. Really, am I that bad? If i was that bad, then why hire me? Why, instead of helping me with something I'm new to, they decide to pass on the task to my superior? How the fuck am I going to learn anything if I don't get proper training and education, and on-the-job training seems impossible in my department? The people I work with are all fighter cocks, I'm someone who keeps my head low and do what's been told, and really, is that so wrong? do you really want me to nose about and get into the centre of work politics? Why can't I be anonymous and great in my job in the same time.

Yeah, you have the whiny ol me, with all the complaints, boo hoo. But if anyone isn't going to cooperate with me, what can I possibly do? Crawl onto my knees in begging for them to teach me every single task and situation that happens in a very large hospital? Work never help me at all! They claim they do, but all I get are backstabbing bitches saying I'm lousy for putting my head low and doing my job. Just because I come from a different place and don't communicate like a low-class hag, doesn't mean it's wrong. But it's wrong to them.

How am I possibly going to go through another successful job when my current employer(must-be referees) are going to say 'Darshini has the worst communications skills ever, don't hire her'? I have my previous employers to back me up buy I don't know, the damage might already have been done. I swear, if I don't get a new job sooner, I will kill myself.
The medical side of the NHS is just a battle ground for oversized bitches to mess with each other's head, and a platform of discussion for trying to remove every single tint of cellulite from their centenarian-aged asses. It's not for me, not the medical side of things.

I have a job interview next Friday in a department I REALLY REALLY want to work, and even if I get the offer, it wont be confirmed until I get satisfactory references, which my current bosses WON'T give because I'm not like one of them!

Oh God I'm going to shoot myself!

Just a thought that's been occupying my mind lately..

2009-08-09T12:17:00.002+01:00

Why is departure from this life so intensely prominent especially to figures that have made such an impact to our lives? I know everyone must be bored of their minds listening to people who second my flow of thoughts, but here's my two cents.

What's been happening in Malaysia recently baffles me. Where is the ultimate justice that we seek within a community that has lived in a monogomous, dictative society. For once the 'elite state' of Malaysia falls into the hands of a desired opposition party, then comes a wasteful death over something so petty like an unjustified fund misuse of only 2,500myr. when the government as a whole since independence have been swindling millions and millions of ringgits in the span of a few decades? poor teoh beng hock, i really hope his family and fiancee finds peace in the midst of disbelief and sheer misery that has landed upon them. i'm sure living a life in that state can be a bit too much for all of them, and i hope they heal well. and as for him, well, hope he r.i.p. :(

and then there's yasmin ahmad. she was stating her sadness, shock, and disbelief over his death on her blog, and after a few days *poof* she dropped like a swatted fly. her blog will never be updated anymore.
what saddens me is the timeline her stroke took to kill her. i work alot with researchers in our stroke rehab ward and the people heal, they heal for the better. they suffer a massive stroke and after a few years, they carry on normally with their lives, and pose a role model to their communities. and that makes me wonder, again. yasmin ahmad was a somebody, the people i work with are just common people, unknown, like me. how fragile our lives are. our lives are bound like the strength of a tiny twig. i could fall dead right now typing this blog from a cerebral edema, or a cardiac arrest from overconsumption of saturated fats, etc etc etc. why are we so superior in the biological living chain and still our tendencies to die are similiar to a dog which might be run over by a car any minute now. i hope we will all know someday. it's a deep-rooted subject and this is one thing people will have the most diverse of perspectives - when it comes to life and death.

Oh why Oh why Oh why..

2009-08-09T09:08:00.003+01:00

OK, I definitely suck at blogging. But ever since I came home from Malaysia, I have been swamped with work, work sending me to courses all over England, and I have been babysitting.

Let's talk about Malaysia shall we? I'm sure the myriad of photography efforts all collated and published on Facebook sums up my wedding. It was an eye-opener to many people, as you can see, that most typcial Indian weddings are attended by ONLY Indian people, and since my bevy of babes and lads come from different ethnic background, the crowd was pretty much multi-ethnic, which is way cooler than a mono-ethnic crowd. Not trying to be prejudiced or am saying that my wedding was a-cut-above from the rest, but I was just amplifying the fact of this experience being an 'eye-opener' to most of the crowd. It's a shame none of my in-laws were there to see it all but it's their loss. Boo-hoo. I had an amazing time in Cambodia as well, being a big softie, I decided that 2 weddings will be complemented by 2 honeymoons. Face it, we need it as much as I hear echos of nonsense and disagreement! We are a couple but we have other things that occupy our minds - work, our own interests, forgoing our lavish lifestyle to accomodate our income to start a family, and I was thinking a post-grad course will be in line as it is necessary to compete in this recession-suffering, constantly-competitive environment. So we hardly ever spend quality time even in tbe comforts of our own sheets. So we need to et away from it all. OK, I'm going off in a tangent. What did I say? Cambodia was it? Yup! It was fun-tastic, we made our presence very prominent in the very peaceful streets of Siem Reap, and our hotel was magnificent. 5 star luxury thrown into the bosom of an urban oasis. The time spent with my family and friends, and what they have done to make my 3 1/2 weeks pleasant were priceless! I can never thank them enough! I love all of you very much, and I wish I could be there to do the deed you have tirelessly done when I was there. I'm missing all of you terribly!

I came back here, back to misery. I was bawling my heart out in the airports, planes, until I came back to Manchester. I ignored my in-laws for the first few days which was very childish of me. I just feel sometimes they don't do enough for me - me who travelled miles and miles to be with Nick. Whatever they do for me will never ever come close to the openness and generosity and love I get from home. The only thing that was bearable for me when I got back was work, miraculously. I found solace and emotional comfort from work because I am brilliant at setting aside my feelings from my professional commitments. I even stayed in the office one night because I went to the extend that going back home was all too much for me. But time healed everything. I am fine now.

Little Jonathan moved here for good, and I have agreed to babysit him. It's so sad to see him so spoilt and bratty and immature just 2 years from his possible puberty. He can't tell 5,000 to 5,000,000, can't spell very well, etc. But he is a great kid that has understood so many things people his age wouldn't understand. So I am playing mother for him for about a month til he goes back to school. He has a friend, Corey, who is one of our neighbour's kids, and he is a good kid. He plays with Jon everytime he comes over. It's a joy to take care of them kids, but I could strangle Jon sometimes for being so stubborn and rude, sometimes screaming at him can get him to listen to me.

On the other hand, I had a new nephew born on the 20/06/2009. He is called Sam. Picture of him and my brother in law:-

He is gorgeous.

It's a beautiful day out here. I'm going to go for a walk with the dog and sit under a tree and read a book at the common. Toodle loo!

xoxo

Absolutely glorious

2009-06-02T10:50:00.002+01:00

3 more days til I haul my ass to accomodate one very lucky seat on an Emirates flight to Kuala Lumpur a.k.a. HOME! I wouldn't say I am excited, more anxious really. Going back to where it all started. I have been so acquainted with the authentic British culture, that going back will feel strange, at least for the first few days. All I know is my tastebuds will be brought back to life. I know 2 years isn't a very long time, but it just feels long..it's as though I have forgotten how is it like to be indulged into the best of Malaysian culture. But that does not mean I have forgotten my roots. nothing beats home!

the weather, oh the weather decided to be the most glorious of all the days in these 2 years i have been here. it was baking at 24 degrees and that is the ideal temprature I should be in. sadly, i have to go home to the extremely scorching hot weather + haze! god i hate haze!! Nice to have such a beautiful weather - I spent the weekend with my mother-in-law and we took Holly to the Cronkeyshaw Reservoir. We had a long walk, horses running freely across the meadows (although she tried to chase and bite all of them. *border collies*), and we had our lovely heart-to-heart chats. I can't believe how self-absorbed we've all been that reliving our good old times was bliss. Thousands of buttercups, daisies and dandelions swarming the grassy commons, making it picture perfect. Bursting them dandelion clocks has been my pasttime, watching the flowers bloom in awe as the onset of the British Summer takes place. I can't believe I will be missing the British Summer everyone seems to be so proud about and I know now why. Thankfully it came in good time - when recession bites and people can't afford to escape our typically miserable weather for the sunny shores of the Adriatic sea and the glorious Mediterranean.

I so feel like a pint of ice-cold cider and basking under the glorious summer sun in just my bikini top. But I have loads to do after blogging. I thought i'd just blog as I won't be doing that at all when i'm in malaysia. i'd be so busy like a bee.

The last week has really gotten into me. I just can't believe how stupid some people are. For example, I had booked a massage with an Aveda salon like WAAAY in advance. Only to call them to confirm my appointment, and them saying that they dont have me in the books. I'm like, wtf? What were you doing all the bloody time I was on the phone trying to book a massage? stupid or what? or just can't be tossed?! tosshead! and then there is work, the neverending saga of jealousy, hatred, and above all idiocy. i don't know why am i doing such a dignified job but only to have co-workers that are soooo outrightly stupid! i wonder how they even got the job that only people with specialised skills could do. i can't wait to leave my bloody job and get a proper one (again going back to Macclesfield - yiiipppee!!!) but then again, the summer and the good weather is the reason people have negative productivity in their systems, and they have not got back to me on my application. now that i'm not abiding work permit regulations anymore i can take and leave a job whenever i bloody please.

i.need.to.get.some.work.done.hope.i.will.have.fun.in.malaysia.and.my.first.honeymoon

tarah!

24

2009-05-15T08:28:00.003+01:00

Hangovers...hangovers...terrible! and i forgot to wash out my eye makeup so rubbing your eyes with makeup on is lethal to your eyes. now they're teary, stinging, gritty and red. ugh.

how did i celebrate my birthday? in loneliness (oh well i'm not sure if the dog being here counts because she was such a pest yesterday). why? because it fell on a thursday, nick has to work (he couldnt get the day off) and i wasn't feeling well at all. my nose is so stuffy and runny and i've been coughing non stop. so i stayed home, and finally decided to go to work, because all my friends are working and by the time i got home from work it will be pointless for me to go out at night because it takes me 2 hours to get ready, and another hour to get into manchester. but i'm having a small house party on saturday so i'm looking forward to that.

i was disappointed because some of my friends that I would think will remember and care to wish me didn't. if they forgot, or were occupied with something else, that's fine. but i absolutely despise people who remembered but didnt care to even send a text message to convey their best wishes on someone's birthday. i knew someone who deliberately doesn't care of her friend's birthday even when she remembered. such cruelty!

i went to work and everyone felt so sorry for me I had to celebrate most of my birthday alone, i had loads of 'HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!' in my face. ah the joy. my boss told me to have the chocolates that the doctors gave her for having a fucked up day yesterday but its cruel to do that. one of the doctors gave me a beautiful purse from norfolk and got a £10 angpow from her (which was placed in the purse)

when i got home, i was in for a surprise. my husabnd, as unromantic as he is set the table up ready for a candlelit dinner for two. AND he got me a present, even when i didn't want a present, as we need to conserve every penny we can for Malaysia. what was it? a to die for assortment of luxury chocolates!!!! *screams* Annnnddd...this was sometihng out of the blue. he dipped strawberries into chocolates!! so i got strawberry chocolates, chocolates to munch on, free flow of wine AND my favourite roast dinner - lamb cooked in red wine, along with veg and beer battered onion rings!!! yuuummmmmm....so we ate and summed the day up watching devil wears prada. he fell right asleep as he had to wake up to walk the dog, and then head to work. so i ended my day in perfection - chocolate indulgence, wine and chic flick. kiks rang me and she came over at 11pm and we pretty much drank all the wine, had all the chocs and dropped dead for the day. i just sent her to the train station as she needed to get home.

i am going to party bigtime with her in july when i get back!! cant wait.

im going to go play with the dog, and lie in bed as i'm really poorly. bye for now x.

7 more days...

2009-05-07T10:37:00.002+01:00

til i'm old as a cow....24....*shudders*

Annnnddd...I've not achieved much. People may think that I have achieved much - leaving the country, having a job that pays the bills, and getting married. Well, I do not think so, because my job or lets just say all the work I have done in the UK in the past 2 years...have not saved me ANYTHING AT ALL! The government sucks, I've had problems with my work permit, having to go the 'kopi money' way, etc etc etc. Too much hassle and drama. Now I'm just glad, amidst all the people losing their high-profile jobs, I still have mine, mediocre status in the NHS. I just am too ambitious it is destroying me. I always want to be better better better better..but how can I be when EVERYONE wants to be like that. Thinking about all those hundreds and thousands of students having degrees from Uni of Oxford, Uni of Cambridge, Manchester, Leeds, Edinburgh, Dublin... etc etc etc...coming to the UK to find work. So what makes a stupid lowly UTAR grad like me stand out? So do you think I should just tone down on the ambition? I'm not sure. I just have no spare cash to spend on upgrading my qualifications. And my priorities have shifted now I've been made a wife. I'm confused and still in dilemma.

Nevermind that...

Lets talk about a British summer bank holiday, the first in May. What comes into minds of Britons when there's a holiday in the 'summer'? Barbecues, and fat, frumpy baggages of women sunning their cellulite-infested asses, turning themselves into shades of bright red and orange (when they have used too much of Garnier fake tan sprays). I was just watching the BBC Breakfast show and there were a few women from local LEAs speaking about schools in the UK, and I can safely say they must've been approaching retirement, and god they just look orange! Really orange! Whyyy? Cos they're fat and saggy pack of cougars who can't show off their embarassing bodies off, even their husbands could cough splutter in blood, that they resort into the only thing that seem to dominate the advertisement industries in the UK - tanning and sunning products. And the result? Ultimately catastrophic. It amazes me how much the women here think about only barbecues and fake tans in the summer but not how to lose weight and confidently boast that about in the summer (at least they will turn bright red which isn't as bad as orange). Reason I am blogging about how disgusting this matter of fact is because women here are stupid. I know, my friends hate being tanned fakely and rather stay pale, which I highly respect. There's no harm on being pale. Imagine if you got so orange your own mother wouldn't even recognise you!

I went for my first summer barbecue this year at my father-in-law's 65th birthday and retirement do. I always look forward to go to his house for parties and barbecues because his current wife is a gem with guests, and she, I can say is probably one of the most sincere person I have known here. I know Nick's mum hates her (talking about spousal rivalry), and would probably sadden her if she knew how close I was with dadd'y current wife, but it doesn't concern me, and neither it concerns Nick, so I keep in good ties with her. Her barbecues are excellent. When we arrived there, her children from her previous bf (7 of them + Nick's half brother daddy had with her) would greet me with shovels of hugs and kisses and they would always get me a drink. So I started my evening with a pint of Strongbow. I waited for Patsy and Steve to show up because everyone there was so boring I had to occupy myself by helping Loretta with the barbee. Meatballs, seafood kebabs, chicken, pork, venison, angus, lamb, fish, etc etc. All in the barbecue. (Oh, at least the weather was pleasant! Although a bit cold) Patsy and Steve showed up and we chatted and chatted over a large variety of food (pork pies, pasties, salad, crisps and dips, mini eclairs, beetroot, corn and chicken with pasta, chocolate and vanilla gateau, basically anything you could die for are served). And then, Steve exclusively told me that I could be the first in the party to be served with his special mulled wine recipe, and I thought, what better way to warm up but with mulled wine. so I had a glass and boy that gave me a kick I would never forget. We were all having relaxed conversations over continuous flow of gluhwein, I fell in love with it and had another glass. Trust me this is nastier than multiple shots of Tequila. After my 3rd glass, I couldn't stand straight and thankfully Steve finished the flask of gulhwein so that's it for the day. And I was craving for more drinks Liam poured a hefty glass of red wine into my unfinished glass of gluhwein. So there, a lethal alcoholic combination. I was so warm and fuzzy I just started going to everyone I knew at the party for a cuddle and I knew I was going to be carried home.

And then we were playing truth or dare with the moshers. It was, sing the most embarassing song you've ever known. When it came to my turn, guess what I sang? Our dear old national anthem. There I went, in my drunken state, shrieking every word of our national anthem to everyone who obviously didn't understand our Bahasa Melayu and that was the tip of the iceberg. I got carried home. LOL. To think that I still remember every word made me chuckle. But to sing it at the wrong occassion pretty much sums up the joke of the day - ME! But everyone thought that was so endearing in my drunken stupor I believe all my 'sins' have been 'pardoned'.

I came home and just went straight to bed, not been awake for 14 hours. I woke up the next day with the biggest of hangovers + migraine which I absolutely hate. And some chocolate cake that got stucked on my hair. Sighs. So there I was changing the sheets, pillow cases, and washing my hair. It was a memorable day in my diary of drunken shenanigans. I pretty much spent a disaapointing Bnak Holiday Monday indoors, detoxing, because it was fucking raining. BOOHOO to all British suckers who decided to have their bank holiday barbecue on the monday!

What appalls me is that why when there is sun, everyone just bares it all. Face it, just because there is sun doesn't mean it's warm you bunch of losers! Nick and his mum had a conversation in the park about how they were baring it all, and I said that because they are tired of covering up. And it might have puzzled both of them cos it might have related that british people love being naked and are cheap. (yes they are in alot of ways). British people (this generation of Britons, really) have no dignity whatsoever. They can't give two shits about anything but themselves. That's why sometimes the current generation of Malaysians are so much better in comparison. I'm not saying I'm hot, have the best tan in the world, and have a sexy body, buT AT LEAST I'm not FAT like most British girls and I cover up and dress sensibly with the weather and temperatures. Nevermind that, the doctors in the authority I work in are real cheapo. Yeah they buy their stuff from topshop, but why buy rugs rather than proper clothing? This doctor that I work with, Maggie, she's like close to being nude most of the time anyway. Can see her blue colour bra against a rug-like hippie looking white blouse. Real fashion disaster man! Shame to fashion pioneers like Twiggy who so happen come from England.

oklah, bye for now. Next I will blog about work. If you are all not bored of reading such a boring, elaborate post.

My eyes are going to pop out soon

2009-04-23T09:30:00.002+01:00

GOD! I can't stress enough what this daylight savings time is doing to me, it's doing my bloody head in. I wake up everyday feeling like crap just because it's 9am bright at 4am. and the longest day of the year, there's only like 5 hours of darkness. gets dark at 10pm and gets brighter at 3am. really really hate it! I am asking nick to change the curtains into darker coloured ones but he insists he likes the lightness. I think it's time to sleep in seperate rooms. and every bloody time i put my eye mask on, i wake up, finding it rolled down to my neck everytime. so much for trying to spare me my awakening. hate his so called common sense he puts into every thought!

right, i start work at 4pm today and finish at 12am. HATE THIS BLOODY SHIFT! stupid odd houred NHS working policies! since I have nothing better to do until 4pm(apart from going to the market for some veg and ham), i'm going to list down all that i have to do in june when i am in malaysia, and friends who still care to read this, who are still back home, please help me by suggesting other things i should not miss that is relatively new to the country (eg a new must-try restaurant, shopping mall, etc)

1) get my teeth done by dentist
2) waxing, facial, hair
3) meeting up with high school friends
4) meeting up with my girlies - kulfi, etc.
5) spending ample of time with mum and dad
6) lepak full swing with my sister
7) helping mum and dad with wedding
8) sorting out wedding attire, makeup options, hairstyling options, jewellery, etc
9) renewing my bloody passport (that should bloody well top my list or i won't be able to come back here!!)
10) raiding mamak stalls, malay kuih stalls, banana leaf restaurants, and possibly every malaysian eatery in the locality
11) shopping for family and friends in england
12) checking out new clubs for a decent night out. still cheaper compared to this shithole.
13) euphoria by mos. MUST CHECK OUT! no need to go to singapore for mos experience
14) 1st leg of honeymoon planning, shame it's not going to be a beachy holiday because it will turn out that my husband, pale as a ghost would be re-marrying a soot-like shadow, if i get burned by the sun.
15) possibly returning to utar to relive the mamak stall and section 14 antics with the girls and possibly Anne (if she could ever come back from KT to see me)
16) KLCC with Nick. he loves KLCC so much!

That's all really I can think of. Help me people, and do you think I can cover all these in 3 weeks? :-( This is so unfair!

I FINALLY BLOGGED

2009-04-02T11:41:00.004+01:00

You know what, I can never ever keep my promises to blog. I just am so bushed and swamped with and from work there is nothing else I rather do but to crash after work. I have been working non-stop the past 3 weeks just because Michelle decided to catch the flu bug we've all had and stay out of work. my eyes hurt, my back sore, the bikini body I achieved didn't last long, all the pancakes, waffles, muffins, cakes from work doesn't cease to exist in front of all our jaded souls. My life has been all about work lately, except for some decent night outs, have cut back on the wild side for ages, and I miss that! The long rainy nights of bar hopping, dancing til the stilettos split, puking in cabs and the random snogs. Oh I absolutely miss it. I'm not sure why, but I have refrained the wild side of me ever since I got married. I've onyl had one wild night out with Kiks after I got married. It's not like I'm getting pregnant anytime soon because I am just not ready. I will be having a new nephew in June, so I can't wait to celebrate it with the family (I love going to Wales anyway)

My nephew will be called Hayden Rogers. And I can tell the kid will be a really beautiful child, both parents not bad looking afterall anyway! Ok OK, Back to what I have been up to. Lets see, spring is here, and the lambing season is on!!!! sO Mum, Nick and I went to the Yorkshire farms that Val's son own and we had a blast, seeing all the bleeting lambs given life. And the horses as well have given birth to foals. oh the joy. we had country food as well, yorkshire puddings, toad in the hole, shepherd's pie, etc. and what better way than to wash it down with a nice tall, chilled pint of english country ale! We also managed to go to La Mancha for Mothering Sunday, and we had so much of tapas (my personal fav now is the Broccoli and Cream cheese bake) we swore not to eat anymore tapas in the next 6 months. and we only paid £30 for 3 people + sangria and all.

I sure as hell missed Deb when she came over to Manchester a few days ago, I haven't seen her since Mrach 2008 and I have only seen her twice since I landed my arse into a big hellhole called the United Kingdom. But i'm sure she had fun. nothing beats shopping in england during the sales period(which seems to me like it's every month of the year). There are sales at the start of all seasons, Christmas, Easter, Mother's day, etc etc etc. Speaking of Easter! I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT FOR MY 2 BANK HOLIDAYS FROM EASTER AND GOOD FRIDAY URRRGGGHH!! had enough of working already! What a passive, pessimistic attitude on my end, but really, 12 hours a day with only 30 minutes of lunch break is crazy! Why did I ever decide to work in the NHS??

I also wonder - why tequila shots are downright nasty? I knocked myself out after just 8 tequila shots and never woke up for 16 hours. I thought I had way too much booze my liver fucked up and it killed me in my sleep. But I have been working so hard you can absolutely not reward yourself easily in this coutnry but to indulge in sinful and fatality causing habits - drinks and chocolate. I do my own manis and pedis and hot aromatherapy baths but nothing like visiting a spa realyl and seriously, I can't afford to spare even a penny on luxuries like that. I tell you, KL will owe me for my custom and gratitude to their beauty, retail and food services when I get home because I fucking well am hitting it home full swing with luxury pampering and food therapy. I have struggled my way here for 2 years I can't wait for the 6th June, honestly!

I am so tired to even think straight while blogging. I have got a knee appointment late at night for my swollen knee so I might need knee surgery after I get back from KL. So it's back to going on a bus to Oldham cos Nick's car is been sent for servicing. Honestly, I'd rather be anywhere but work, even if it meant signing my death warrant. I just got back from some training I already have done 3 times in the span of 3 months. Why is that so mandatory that the loss of productivity the frequency of the training done surpasses the loss of productivity as a result from NOT having to attend this training? Because, it is governed by the law. Such stupid enactment of law it's appalling! Every piece of regulation engraved in the book of British laws have done NOTHING but cause more pain and misery to employed commoners like me. Who gets the big payout? Corrupt MPs, unemployed bastards who refuse to go back to work, and fucking fake asylum-seeking benefit receipients!!! If only I had a mass destructing grenade in my possession.

I have spent most of my weekends watching the ultimate Stephen King novels made imto films collection - Carrie, It, The Shining, Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, etc. Nick is the biggest Stephen King fan I have ever known and now I am also spending time reading through his enormous collection of Stephen King's literary work. It is, eccentric, deep, dark, and it leaves you on the edge of your fingertips at the end of it all. And obviously, it left me insomniac. Ugh! But yeah it's good novel reading anf film watching fun.

I am so hungry I'm going to fix some lunch. I miss you guys, I'm not sure if anyone of you are still even reading my blog, as my hopeless commitment isn't taking me anywhere.

i don't think it is depressing

2009-01-19T16:26:00.007Z

It is one of those days that I could fake being sick and come home half day from work. my reason today was because the snow was falling, and to not jeopardise my productivity at work (in British Culture you are pardoned when getting distracted byt hings like falling snow(I'm an alien anyway so I have that extra edge to procrastinate at work), I have called in half day sick. So when I got home, I literally spent the whole time I could salvage by looking at the falling snow. it is so pretty, probably one of the prettiest thing in sight. there were large flakes (like a bundle of falkes all conjoined together), and there were tiny, sleet-like flakes which looked like rain from a far distance. while waiting for my tub to be filled I went to gaze at the snowfall (ah this is one day i really destressed optimally with a nettle tea, and lavender bath), i watched the snow fall, and thought. Why do I complain every now and again about life? I always rant about not having any happiness in this depressing place. but little things in life ahve to be sought from within, like even watching the falling snow can be so therapeutic.

after tub was filled, i lit some scented candles, let my venetian blinds on so I could be able to see the snow from my bathtub, and dragged my bottle of pinot grigio and wine glass to the tub, sipping and savoruing every taste of pinot grigio in my m0uth, pampering my sight with the crystal clear whitish snow, and playing with shaun the swiiming sheep in my bath tub. i chose to be happier from within because i know theres nothing much i can do being away from where i really belong but to hang in there, so i'm basically hanging on with a smile on the face.

toodle loo

It's too quiet..

2009-01-13T10:40:00.008Z

Songs that make me cry:-

"Where I Stood" - Missy Higgins

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

_________________________________________________

This song REALLY brings tears into my eyes. The words are too sad, and often I feel that way, minus the 'death' factor in it. You should listen to it and you will know how I feel.

Civil Twilight - Quiet in my Town

Today i heard that someone left this earth
That someone disappeared left no mark here
Today i heard that someone just got up and left himself
Lying on the ground

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town

Today two boys disappeared without noise
And i wish that i was them flying somewhere overhead
And tonight in silence, two lovers hate and find
One is bored
One is angry
But neither one of them is right, oh

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Oh, today is
Today is quiet in my town

Oh, somebody say something
Somebody say something
Somebody say something to me
Oh, someday say something
Someday say something
Someday say something cause i can't take this silence anymore
Anymore
[quiet in my town lyrics on http://www.kovideo.net/ ]
Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is too quiet in my town

Today i heard the sound of birds and i wish that i was anywhere but here

It's too quiet, too quiet
It's too quite, too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
It's too quiet
In my town, in here, in here, in here,
It's too quite in my town

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town
Today is
Today is too quiet in my town

Today is
Today is
Today is quiet in my town

I wonder why I always start my New Year with sad posts like that. But that's how I feel. Sad. x

Happy new year!

2009-01-01T11:07:00.047Z

I'm finally back home. What a cold morning it has been today, armed with a steaming hot mug of tea with lemon slice and watching spongebob squarepants, I sit here and pen down my thoughts and what has happened throughout the festive season.

I partied so much last night my knees became so bad and my ears started to swell up, now I do not feel well. it has been temperatures below freezing and it is crucial to keep warm. times like these make me miss home tremendously. i spent my night at the birdcage and revolution downing vodka sticks using that privilege promotion i got as a valued member of revolution vodka bar. since nick was at work and I was done having dinner with the mother-in-law and valerie, i called kirstie and she picked me up and we went into manchester. if i had the cash i wouldve spent new years out of the cold miserable place. what didnt amaze me was the firework display at the london eye. 15 minutes of nothing but sheer carelessness in the planning of the firework routine, the whole display cost taxpayers money £2million its not funny. i compare the display in sydney to the one in london, oh the one in london very well can be compared with deliberate bombardment in Iraq or Afghanistan, coincidentally by the same British and American idiots. Bah humbug.

I had a pretty low key chirstmas as a married couple. we invited the mother in law because she didnt plan to be alone for chirstmas but the renovation in her home has halted all that she wanted to do so we couldnt bear for her to spend chirstmas alone and we cooked roasted pork and gammon (turkey is shite, and we're not a typical family with 10 kids celebrating xmas anyway), and had roasted veg smothered in melted butter and english herbs. it was divine, and to die for. ad we had ice cream with apple sauce and a huge serving of xmas pudding in sherry, port, rum and english winter fruits. aaah..and the free flow of wine. mummy took it abit to the extreme she literally had to be carried home. the dogs had a brilliant time chasing each other around the christmas tree. it was a pretty sight to watch. all that has been said, christmas can be gravely boring in this shithole, but its up to you to lighten it up with your family, give them the love and attention and keep the family well fed, and you will have a blast. Nice hot roast, with hot sweet wine on a snowy, frosty Christmas is divine - whats not to love?. What about Xmas presents? I got a Cashmere mink from the mummy in law, Nick gave me a wooly furry and cuddly jumper to battle out the extreme weather conditions here, Aunt Liz gave me a candle set and a spa gift card, and Val gave me a family address book and a friend to accompany me in my sunday aromatherapy baths - Shaun the Swimming sheep. I gave mummy a Mamma Mia DVD (she loves the movie to bits), Nick a VW Mark 1 collectible, and Val a candle from Morrisons. All in all a perfect way to celebrate Christmas. Nick turned 33 on Monday so I cooked up a feast and bought a surprice birthday cake with candles that spelt out his age. All was good until 15 minutes before he arrived home - I thought my main course got destroyed but it was divine actually. My Christmas decorations caught on fire, I accidentally burnt my table cloth with the lit up bud of the incense stick, and some stupid part of me thought birthday candles can be lit up for hours. so I lit up the damn candles like 10 minutes before he arrived and when I got to the table, the wax destroyed the birthday cake and the alphabets that spelt out 33 could not be read - so there. Happy birthday my dear husband and lets have a waxy cake to celebrate your occassion. Yup so we had a feast and I was glad that he was happy despite the series of domestic catastrophe.

What I absolutely love about this place is the Christmas and Boxing Day sales. they are to die for. people with the cash can defnitely splurge out but what with the recession hitting the nation terribly and more unemployment, not many people have that littel penny or two to splurge out. I am thankful I could use the sales to get some littel luxuries with the cost of close to nothing. I got myself aKaren Millen winter coat for going out to posh places and formal events. £390 depreciated to a mere £50. whats not to love about a bargain as such? Next is on 1/2 price sale for absolutely everything and I love Next home stuff and bedding so i filled my shopping cart with bedding and more bedding. Afterall, I love my bed very much.

New Year Resolutions? Absolutely none! I just want my marriage to blossom and last, my job to be stable in these unpredictable job market, my families to stay healthy and live long for my sake, for my sister to be happy and healthy as she is so far away from me. aND FOR WORLD POVERTY TO NOT END, BUT the pain to be eased.

xx

The smell of mornings..

2008-11-30T09:16:00.011Z

Ah...the smell of emptiness int his house as Nick goes to work on Sundays, my Crunchy nut cereal calling to be eaten, and the smell of freshly brewed cappucino (yes I've got a cappucino brewing machine!!) whilst I blog (FINALLY!) sums up a perfect sunday morning. sunday mornings is the one day I use to reflect on myself, my accomplishments of the week, and the new things I have seen throughout the week, and i use it to think about my family, and how much I miss them and hope they will be ok by calling my mum. what I absolutely love is the view from my study. the view of the pennines and the winter sun rising through the horizon is sheer prettiness.

i went to Chatsworth House with aunty liz, uncle kev, the gran, val, mum and nick yesterday for their annual christmas market. I can tell you that this outting makes the top 5 of the best places I have ever been in my life, from all the extensive travelling I have done. I was thinking so much about my mum, dad, sister, deb, liz, anne and jasmine when I saw this place. Especially how everyone at home loves Christmas, they will love this place. it is the stately home of the duke and duchess of devonshire, think the duchess with keira knightley in it.

the weather was so fucked up for driving yesterday we were caught in the thickest of fogs. it was scary, but demurely and bizarrely elegant, especially when the fogs surround the pretty hills and farms, with the random speckles of sunrays piercing through the mist. We also went to the farm markets (something everyone should go to when in England) and looked at all those delectable, mouthwatering delicacies, and i absolutely loves the delicatessen. We stopped at Bakewell, home to the infamous Bakewell Tarts (thankfully I've tried it as I have only tasted the vodka shot of that flavour), and I was in heaven scoffing the tarts.

I will upload all pics on Facebook, so take a look at this outting, I absolutely loved it and if anyone of you ever come to the north of England, I will definitely take you there, even better when it is Christmas. I also went to Gordon Riggs to look at the Christmas market and lights, and I will post pics both from this year and last year on Facebook.

Toodle loo. x

my sister-in-law to be is...

2008-10-28T11:49:00.002Z

...PREGNANT!

When we heard the news, I am happy, above everything else. Although I never really had a close relationship with her apart from when she is drunk. (she's a bit shallow anyway! For someone like Paul, I dont know how he got on with her) Nick and his mother are the least excited, really. Because, will that mean that Jonathan (Paul's kid from his previosu gf) will be abandoned? Lucy (the sister-in-law) is not in the slightest of favour of Jonathan, so she is very very selfish!

Nick: They did not waste any time, did they?
Me: Well, they have been together for 2 years, they got married a month ago, its no harm conceiving right after their marriage. They would already had 3 kids between them if they did want kids before marriage. And they have kids of their own which are out of marriage.
Nick: *rolls eyes* My brother is a toss-head
Me: Whatever

Story of the family to be.

The Wedding

2008-10-22T12:14:00.002+01:00

I am so pissed off I can't find my bloody housekeys and now I can't get out of the damn house and run errands. Sighs. I'm stucked at home with absolutely nothing to do.

As some of you might be aware, I am getting married. To be honest with you, I think it is really scary to think all that will be happening, will be happening. The thought of walking down the aisle, and saying the vows, and being photographed as a married couple is really daunting. Eevery girl's dream is to have a perfect wedding, no glitches, no turbulences, no trouble. I am comfortable to say the least that I am not such one girl who wants everything during her wedding to be immaculate. My friends know I am a simple girl, a girl from humble beginnings, grew up with that bunch of kaki lepaks at primary and secondayr school and during college, with Jasmine, who is a downright wonderful and simple girl, and we went to uni together, and our circle of friendship grew to Deb, Bebe and Ashley (others are often included as the extended bits and bobs of the friendship circle), and now I am here with a man from humble beginnings as well, a kid that was constantly bullied at school, grew up in not a very happy family, and went to uni with his circle of friends, and then he met me. So we pretty much hit it off because we were similiar, but as e grew together we saw differences, differences that can be painfully difficult to absorb. We have had many heartbreaking arguments over the smallest of things, but we are getting married right now because we have come to the point where all differences have bee sorted out and we wont be killing each other in the future anymore. We hope it will stay that way as well.

It all started to hit home when Helen took me to hunt for the dress. We went to so many places in Manchester, but got this very special dress the moment I saw it in a very simple boutique just 10 minutes from where I live. So much for travelling all the way to Manchester ok? We covered John Lewis, Debenhams, Selfridges, scoured through many brands - Vivienne Westwood, Matthew Williamson, Karen Millen, Principles, Monsoon, Vera Wang ( on sale thats why I had a look!) - all like crap ok? Like I said, simple girl, means simple dress. So yeah, I managed a blue number but I aint going to ruin it for everyone and let the pics tell the story of the day. And all the wedding advices that came in from dear old motherly ones, really freak me out! Sometimes I feel like I'm just not prepared to hear or absorb all these, but it's happening and there's no looking back. I have only about 2 weeks more, and I only ordered the ring yesterday. Its probably the loveliest thing apart from the dress - which is good I feel that way, because the dress, ring, and shoes I'm getting married in should be above all, special to the bearer. I'm glad I feel that way. and the best part is, I didnt spend a bomb like Coleen Rooney on her Marchesa gown - which got wet in the Italian rain anyway! Hahahaa. Burn!

I will blog again about the wedding, I need to keep finding for these goddamn housekeys or I wont be able to get things done! Oh clouds are getting darker. Must scoot! x

2008-10-02T14:02:00.002+01:00

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog

Starting time : 1403 BST
Name : Darshini Loganathan
Sisters : 1
Brothers : 0
Shoe size : 8W UK
Height : 170 cm
Where do you live : Rochdale, Lancashire, England.

Have you ever been on a plane : Yes
Swam in the ocean : No
Fallen asleep at school : All the time.
Broken someone’s heart : Yes
Fell off your chair : All the time as well, I was abit of a goof really.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : Yeah, the puppy love days.
Saved e-mails : Oh yeah.
What is your room like : Double bed shared with a ruthless man (LOL), messy but clean (blame the man's clothes and his toys all over the place, I have a reputation of being neat anyway)
What’s right beside you : Pen, used tissue papers, empty Walkers crisps pack, iPhone
What is the last thing you ate : Julian Walters apricot coated in dark choc

Ever had Chicken pox : When I was 22 (brilliant!!!)
Sore throat : Right now, the time of the year anyway.
Stitches : No
Broken nose : No
Do you Believe in love at first sight : Sometimes...
Like picnics : Love them on a summers day.
Who was the last person you danced with : Nick's brother, and that's because it was his wedding day and had his first dance with his wife already. (fyi, I danced with Nick first, before you get the wrong impression)

Last thing made you smile : Jon telling me how I should bleach myself like MJ
You last yelled at : Nick
Kissed anyone : Holly, Nick's whole family, Nick, My mum, dad, sister, Kirstie, etc etc.
Get sick : Right now.
Talk to an ex : Been a while, and I miss him in some ways.
Miss someone : Yes.
Who do you really hate: At the mo, no one. Don't like shitloads of peeps.

Do you like your hand-writing : No, it makes me cry.
Are your toe nails painted : Yer!
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : My mum's minus my dad.
What color shirt are you wearing now : Purple
Are you a friendly person : I'd like to think so.
Do you have any pets : Doggie.
Do you sleep with the TV on : All the bloody time.
What are you doing right now : Working and this.
Can you handle the truth : Yes.

Are you closer to your mother or father : Mother.
Do you eat healthy : Never did in England.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : Nope.
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : Nick, but he makes it worse sometimes. *Men*
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : Loud
Are you confident : To a certain extent.

5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1) In High School.
2) Cussing people.
3) Lying about my whereabouts.
4) Trying to pass exams.
5) Going for constant tuitions.

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1) Ensure my mum and dad are well taken care of.
2) Better our lives, and our children (oh somebody wants them right now!)
3) Charity (I'm quite picky though on who I donate)
4) Travel the world in style. (LOL)
5) Emigrate to somewhere peaceful, like Fiji or some deserted Caribbean island.

5 of my bad habits
1) Procrastination
2) Afraid of failure
3) Very negative at times.
4) Don't know when to shut up.
5) Wanting money all the time!!

5 places I have been living in
1) Kuala Lumpur
2) Klang
3) Petaling Jaya
4) Manchester city centre
5) Rochdale

5 people I tag
Unfortunately, I dont know anyone that blogs except for Jasmine.

Good ol times..

2008-10-01T17:36:00.002+01:00

I spent the whole of last weekend (apart from Sunday evening) at the computer, listening to the good old songs that shaped my childhood, teenage years, and years at uni (to sum it all up, my life in Malaysia) From Dido, to Goo Goo Dolls, the reminiscence of what made me reduced me to tears and lightened me up in smiles and tint winy giggles. What a mixture of feelings! It lifted my spirit, and made me realise how proud I am to have family and friends that made me who I am before I came here. It's not that I hate being here, Nick's family is pretty much my family, his mum and her best friend, Val are like mothers to me, and at least I have a parental figure to turn to when I need that motherly love I can't seem to get from my real mum at home. It feels like hugging my real mum when I hug Helen (Nick's mum), but nothing could replace my real mum, and she knows that as well. Same goes to Nick, nothing could replace the bond his mother and he share. It is very special, as they have grown stronger through hardship together, and I somehow feel lucky my parents hadn't lived to make me dwell in constant hardship. But I respect the fact if his mother sometimes is a bit to clingy to Nick because she lives alone anyway.

Helen and Val took me to Mamma Mia! yesterday and I thought what a clever and brilliant movie it was! It made me smile throughout the 2 hours, and it was a special feeling that I had, and embraced, upon coming out of the pictures. Meryl Streep and Julie Walters were the shining stars, what calibre and talent do they have! We sang along, and although I'm a little too young for ABBA songs, I still enjoyed it, because I know the songs, just dont know how to sing with it. How I wish I lived a life like that? In a superbly divine island, simplicity and the spirit of love that abide the wholesome lives of the people there.

I have tendered my resignation from Reuters, because I need a break. I can't travel 4 hours to and fro to work everyday, pay full £13 everyday just to get to work, and not even get an inflationary-adjusted pay rise for this reason. I just am not strong enough, and I've stucked it out for a full year, so it is an accomplishment I am proud of myself. There are also other reasons that I am leaving Lipper, and before you all jump into conclusions, I am not leaving the company on a personal or professional capacity, every reason I had to leave was logistically. So...

I may go to Norway for a month's working holiday break but I am doubting the finances will withhold me for even a week in Norway, it is very expensive! But it is an option I'm consdering. I need depth and breatdth in my career options, what I am doing is not challenging enough. I need a buck up!

I leave work in 10 minutes, so I'll blog even more once I'm done here. x

What I love about England....

2008-08-28T15:02:00.003+01:00

10 things I love about England, amidst all the amalgamation of cultures in England, tarnishing what we call the Great British culture (not in order of preference, just a list!) (against what the press thinks about the things that make Britain great) :-

1) Alcopops!!
2) Haribo
3) Scones, crumpets, teacakes
4) Greyhound races
5) The BIG English Breakfast (I dont care if it shortens my lifespan, but its greasy, sinful and above all, BIG)
6) British farms - my newfound love when I went to the Stockton farm last weekend.
7) English countryside. I work in Cheshire, so we spend alot of our lunchhours by a drive to the Cheshire countryside. Quintessentially English.
8) Monty Python! Nothing beats the greatest humour in the world, the British humour
9) The accent! No, not the stupid Rochdale accent. I meant the Southern accent.
10) The history - minus Henry VIII - he's a git!

And to a certain extent, the people...and I meant the naturally British people, not chaplangs like me. hahaha.

Now, shall we not go to the things I hate about Britain bit. Lets keep this entry positive and optimistic.

And what the press things about what makes Britain tick:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/notes-on-a-small-island-the-things-that-really-make-britain-great-910558.html

xx

We are family...

2008-08-22T12:22:00.003+01:00

.....I've got all my brothers and sisters with me.

Ah, the joys of karaoke when you are pissed to a point of no return. It was at Marc, Yikes and Trav's leaving do last night and boy I was so drunk I was left in shambles, stumbling around piccadilly station like a hooker off guard at 12 midnight, waiting for Nick to pick me up. I was so drunk but managed to still have my iPhone close to me. I cannot remember how many times I've crushed my head on the walls of the train and with the wobbly acceleration of the train, my head was travelling against time and I somehow managed to reach piccadilly in a piece. I was so sick a secuirty guard at piccadilly had to get me off the train and sat me on the floor next to Burger King and asked me if I was been attacked and things, and I was like no, I'm super drunk, I'm waiting for me bf to pick me up. All is not lost, friends. Don't be disappointed. My heart rose alight when I realised the iPhone detected WiFi in Piccadilly Station itself (not Starbucks, etc.) and I was surfing Facebook, legs sprawled open, gleeing in happiness, and I thought my hangover was cured (n0 burgers, tacky facial expressions of Nat, etc. ). By the time Nick got me I just passed out in the overheated car, and begged Nick to whip up an emergency midnight meal for me due to my alcohol level that surpassed all nutrition intake in a week. And SOME twat stole my sandwich. If you get pissed and want dinner, GO GET YOURSELF ONE AND DONT NIP IT OFF SOMEONE ELSE WITHOUT ASKING FOR MY FLIPPIN' PERMISSION. I was so annoyed, and I just told my mates that I lost my sandwich last night and they thought Nat's gf ate it. Funny how I entrusted her to look after my things and when I got back to my belongings with half of my sandwich serving gone, she even had the audacity to say that I may as well eat the other one then. I'm not angry really, just amused and bemused at the same time because I could have eaten at Barracuda, but didnt and relied on the sandwiches. Sandwiches from Boots somemore, ok? le sigh.

More pics on Facebook. x

Honeymoon murder that has caused shockwaves here

2008-08-15T07:43:00.002+01:00

I hate looking at British tabloids every morning, because the moment you pick up the paper and see the headlines, it is always something harrowingly depressing it always is a wrong start to the day. Everything is about deaths, or anti-social behaviour statistics, or the economic downturn! Monotonous and like I said, depressing. As though nothing else happens with the 60 million people in England.

An example of what shook the nation by storm very recently.

'Devastated' by doctor's killing

Tributes have been paid to a doctor who was shot and killed during her honeymoon in the Caribbean.

Dr Catherine Mullany, nee Bowen, died from her wounds after a suspected robbery at her hotel room went wrong on the last day of her break in Antigua.

Her husband Ben is in a critical condition after he was also shot.

Described as a "popular, talented and caring young doctor," she worked at Singleton Hospital in Swansea, where staff were said to be devastated.

A spokesman said the doctor had looked forward to her wedding and talked about it for months beforehand.

She had joined the former Swansea NHS Trust in August, 2003 and she had recently been working in the paediatric department at Singleton, which she joined in February.

Paul Williams, chief executive of ABM University NHS Trust said: "Staff at the trust are shocked and devastated by Catherine's tragic death.

"She was a popular, talented and caring young doctor with a wonderful career ahead of her.

"The circumstances of her death are particularly poignant as she was on her honeymoon when this awful shooting occurred.

"Our sincere condolences go out to her family, and we are all praying that her husband makes a full recovery."

'Devastated'

Paediatric consultant and clinical director Mike Cosgrove said Dr Mullany had been expected back from her honeymoon on Monday.

He said: "Instead we heard this terrible news. We are all completely devastated.

"She was an excellent doctor and a lovely person, and an extremely popular member of staff.

"She had so looked forward to her wedding; she had talked about it for months. Nobody can believe what has happened."

The chairman of the BMA's Welsh Council, Dr Tony Calland, said Dr Mullany trained at Imperial College School of Medicine in London and qualified in 2002.

Dr Calland added: "We were deeply saddened to learn of Dr Mullany's untimely death whilst on her honeymoon and we extend our deepest sympathy and condolences to her family, friends and colleagues who are left behind to grieve.

"We share in your sorrow, and our heartfelt thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

"To be killed whilst on honeymoon - at the start of married life - is appalling, shocking and tragic.

"To her husband we wish a speedy and complete recovery."

After returning from my holiday, and for the first time looking at British papers since I left for holidays:-

3rd August - Honeymoon groom dies in hospital

A husband has died in hospital, a week after he and his wife were shot while on honeymoon in the Caribbean.

A spokesman for the hospital in Swansea said following brain stem testing Ben Mullany "has now passed away".

His wife Catherine, 31, was killed at their rented holiday cottage in Antigua during an attempted robbery.

Mr Mullany, 31, from Pontardawe, was flown home in a critical condition early on Saturday. Mrs Mullany's body was also returned to the UK separately.

A spokesman for Abertawe Bro Morgannwg University NHS Trust added: "The thoughts of all the staff who were involved in Ben's care are with his family at this very sad time.

"We would now ask the media to respect his family's wishes, and allow them privacy to grieve for Ben."

Mr Mullany, who had been studying to be a physiotherapist, had been transferred to Morriston Hospital in Swansea, where his late doctor wife had trained.

On Sunday, prayers were said at services in the couple's home town.

At the Tabernacle Chapel in Pontardawe, the Reverend Gareth Morgan Jones paid a eulogy to Catherine, who he had known since she was at school.
___________________________________

My moral of the story is DO NOT GO TO THE CARIBBEAN AND FLAUNT YOUR STATUS QUO IN THE UK COS YOU WILL BE TARGETED. The Home Office has already released numerous warnings for British (WHITE!) tourists to not flaunt their status quo and be cautious when they are in the Caribbean (murder region of the world). As heavenly as it may seem, peace and solitude is never guaranteed there! I'm sure they paid up to £330/night for their hotel and guess what the security level is at? To the extend that ANYONE who wants to access your room will have spare keys at reception without proof od ID. So, there you go! I feel really sorry and was saddened that both had to die that way, but there's so much sympathy I could have for not putting safety before relaxation, especially during your honeymoon, where you could not care more.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-29T17:01:00.004+01:00

This movie is AMAZING!

What I loved about the movie was the plot...it tells you so many different stories, causing twists and turns, and also tells you how 'The Joker' was born. I loved Christian Bale as Batman, his darkness, sexual deepness, and the oohs and aahs that he squirts out. Heath Ledger was excellent as the Joker, but with all the hoo-hahs about him getting an Oscar..I'm not too sure. He was a brilliant actor and brought a whole new sadistic side of the Joker (which Jack Nicholson didn't, although Jack Nicholson's Joker portrayal was more 'recognised'), and I thought he was better than any other Joker's ever portrayed, but the scarring on his mouth just looks like a terrifying smear of lipstick on his face.

That's all for now. It's worth the watch, and for many more times.

I so want to go to....

2008-07-24T17:51:00.002+01:00

MILAN!!! For Xmas!! Flights are so fucking cheap there. sobs sobs cos I will be in Malaysia that time!! Aiyah, next year la next year la! Ishhh..! It's way better to come home anyway! I need a beach holiday. Jasmine, Ashley, Deb, Bebe.......go to Koh Samui this time around? hahaha. I'm such a holiday junkie!

OKla, time for office blurbs, centreing the ever annoying Senior of mine.

Leah : *in the midst of a very busy day, she suddenly shrieks out loud...* I'm going to Turkey! I'm going to Turkey!

Me:...looks at Nick and ROLLS EYES BIG TIME.

Trav: *looks at me with a very cheeky but annoyed with Leah grin, behind her computer screen*

Nat: *speaks on behalf of us* cool, which part of Turkey?
Leah: Oh, the same ol Bodrum. Love it there! Nice weather, but I'm not a beach person, I just want to be there and bugger all! And I can wear a bikini, cos the Turkish men won't mind!

Me: *close to spluttering out my Cadbury hot chocolate* and thinks....that fucking 120tonne Leah WANTS to wear a bikini cos the Turkish men don't mind. I feel sorry for your bf because you will just be a major eye sore to EVERYONE, even the beggar on the street.

Trav: *pretends to take iPod out of bag to listen to it, rather than Leah talking out of her arse, but laughs hysterically underneath the table*

Nick: is speechless

Nat: That's alright! (in a very encouragingly sarcastic tone of voice)

Leah: You know when I was in Turkey the last time, I hate it when British people are around because it feels at home. I bumped into one of my very distant mates in Bodrum the same time last time I went to Turkey and they were all in fucking Congleton.

Trav and Me: thinks....they would have said that same thing upon seeing you. What a fat arse in an undersized sarong!

Leah: And I can't stand Turkish food, so when I'm there I'll eat a double cheese burger and large side of fries.

Enough said, I was close to killing her and going insane upon hearing that so I stumbled out for lunch.

Tata x

Blogging from work......

2008-07-21T17:24:00.004+01:00

Aaaaaahhhh.....finally we're getting some decent sunshine. Sick and tired of fucking gloomy days, only to rub it in to you when you go to work and all colleagues are so sodded with depression, like a big asteroid is about to hit right smack on our office site.

I am so busy, but in the same time, I'm so flipping bored with the shit here. My team leader has gone home, and that hawk-eyed Senior Financial Analyst has gone to Poland to do her secondment, so she will not go and report me again for surfing the internet. Hate the fucking nazi treatment they give us. No personal emails, no personal RMs, no personal Internet surfing, and all the shit that comes in the package. I have been warned, but people still take the piss so why do I even bother? It's not like they are going to fire me anyway! I can bloody hell do whatever I fucking want! We get Jonathan fucking going for piss and brew breaks every now and then without even getting arsed about it! I use the company phone for 5 minutes and get 60 minutes of shit from the seniors. Fat arsed Jindra doesnt even get to work on time, speaks to her hubbie about dinner tonight when it's only 10am ON THE FUCKING COMPANY PHONE, and doesnt get shit for it, so why the fuck should I be silent?

I can't believe i am sat here not using the advantage of blissful sunshine. But I am torn and rotten while waiting for the clock to tick smack at 6pm! Another fucking long 30 minutes. What a rotten feeling! Hate the fucking news going on at the background, love the sunrays piercing through the Venetian blinds, hate that annoying Simon fucking tapping away on the keyboard everytime he lifts his fingers to type, one tap means one helluva smack on his fucking face, love the fact that it's not 7 hours more til home time, but only 30 minutes more.

Nick is such a fucking jerk sometimes. Just because he is ill and is incapable of going to work tomorrow, doesnt mean he can't send me to the train station tomorrow morning only for 5 minutes. Saves me 30 minutes in bed, for crying out loud! And then hung up on me cos he sensed my bitchy lecturing is going to start! He is going to flipping be abused when I get home, sick of people going against what I want to do and expect people around me to do. I know this is my bout of bitchiness but I work in fucking Macclesfield, and it takes me 100000000001 years to get home every fucking day, so cut me some slack and help me out here whenever you can! Twat!!!

Fucking country is headed to a hedge of economic hell soon!! So I will be even worse than I ever was, financially. No more dinners at Marks and Sparks, no more peeking through the windows of Debenhams, only to come out £250 poorer, have to set a determination to NOT EVEN BOTHER LOOKING at Dorothy Perkins at all thouse £1 bargain tops. Fuck! I think my 'it's time to get out of the UK' siren has alerted me to pack my bags and head Down Under (sister is there) - YEAH FUCKEN RIGHT! Not that bloody easy!!

I so can't wait for my mini Eastern Eurotrip. Fucking EUR has gone so strong against the £ I cant spend my bloody summer in the French Riviera and Monaco (as planned)- so I'm headed to the Soviet Union bloc of countries - and I am expecting to see some of the BEST places and cities in the world. The most exciting would definitely be Vienna and Auschwitz (well not exciting that I'm jumping up and down causing my boobs to jiggle and juggle abaout as well, but I get to see what WWII has caused one of the strongest Semitic events in the history of the Jews)

OKla, 10 more minutes, and it's time to piss off and head to the gym for a swim and the back home to manslaughter my bf (just kiddin') and then fall asleep. How more mundane can ANYONE's lives be?

Whoever wants to share their sorrows and laughter with me, or whatever on earth just ricng me at 1-800-ILIVEINASHITHOLE

p/s: No Animals have been harm during this rambling of sheer bitchiness in this post. I didn't intend to be this emo and depressed anyway!

Bloody 'el mate - I'm a mad-fer-it Manc!

2008-06-29T09:22:00.003+01:00

I simply can't believe myself. So much for empty promises to blog more often. *sighs*

How is everyone doing? I am.....alright? I assume. Work is taxing, as usual, my social life is ACE!! Apart from that, I'm just pretty much the same 'ol Dar. Most importantly my accent hasn't changed (haha) Well, you knowla our so-called Malaysians trying to be putih after only 3 months being in a foreign country.

It was exactly a year since I touched down in London about 3 days ago. And I am terribly excited that I am flying back to Malaysia before Deepavali. Nothing like Deepavali with your famiyl, come on la, last year I took a day off work on Deepavali day. and while my family were celebrating it without my presence, I was praying my life will get better at the ONLY Hindu temple in Manchester, after 1 1/2 hours of driving from Rochdale. And the priest was super not-friendly. But he gave Nick and I a 'miracle apple' - can you believe it that the apple is still uneaten in my fridge, haven't rot ok? Still looking fresh and spanking new. Brace yourself girls when I get back!! I will also be going to Australia for a month to see my sister...yes, she has got a job offer in Adelaide. Everything taken care of. So she is leaving by next month. Having said that, come July, my parents will be the only ones left at home in Klang and trust me, they will be jet-setting, Australia and the UK,taking turns. hahahaha. Good for them me old folks! They need the break.

So how did we celebrate my first anniversary of living here? CHINESE FOOD!! Always the better antidote to my tastebuds, everytime I eat English food the tastebuds tend to die and go to Heaven. And when there's food with attitude (hey, Indian food can be rebelliously hot ok?) my tastebuds are being brought down to earth. So Nick and I went to our favourite Chinese which is called the Rice Bowl (Deb, come to Manc next time and we will take you to Rice Bowl - forget stupid horrible English pub food!) Ah the hint of ginger and garlic and oyster sauce in every dish does make me think of home ALOT.

Most of my weekends are spent out and about in any big city in the Northwest. We girls went to Glasgow for parties and night clubs last weekend, and we were absolutely pissed in a day that was just bucketing down. Drenched white tops, glittery skinny jeans and skyscraping heels we braved the cold and was dancing away. But my new friends are abit boring la, to be honest with you. Since they alla re single, after a while they tend to pull random guys and don't even know where they are the next day (most of them end up naked in the room of a guy they pulled) They don't even remember how they fucked the guy cos they felt so numb apparently. So me and Natasha (the only non-available girls in the clan) end up going home on a 3:30am train down to Manchester. But yeah when the girls are sober, they are such fun.

My birthday was celebrated pirate arrrrhhhh style! It was amazing, we were alld ressed in corset tops (I didnt la, I was too fat, will let you in the corset story later), mini skirts, makeup anyone can die for, and more boys. My god, some weird guy came up and talked to me and said what a nice arse I have and started groping me, so I smacked him with my clutch. hahahaha. And a pub fight ensued after that. I never thought I will be the root of a famous pub fight that got 24 people arrested from the pub. Apparently, the guy that groped me was one of the most wanted juvenile in Manchester! hahaha. haih...

Claire, Maggie, Jasmine, and myself went to Ayia Napa the other weekend, and we were just pissing about partying like mad, and while the girls went on fucking some weird English guy (as though you can't get English men in England, must go to Ayia Napa to find one), I went to BK and had the best BK in my life. All burgers come with feta cheese and a side Greek salad or couscous. Sedaps ok?

So my social life is typically British and boring, but I still love it! So I'm a mad-fer-it Manc, but definitely makan-makan type of Malaysian, and will always be.

Work is crap. I have some good friends, but got alot of sour-grapes also. Work politics is inevitable, so don't think that working in the UK or anywhere overseas is that great. We earn in £££ but you don't want to be taxed through your eyeballs as well. I end up being bloody brassic at month end, so it's never nice.

Counting down to my Mediterranean holiday in t-minus 30 days1 xx

Back to my ol blog

2008-02-26T11:26:00.051Z

Hi people..
I feel absolutely new to this again....I can't remember the last time I ever blogged properly, or ever attempted to. My life has just taken over some other priorities, like being constantly on the move, etc.

Note: I cant be arsed posting pictures here. They will all be on Facebook, so add me if you haven't.

Lets see....the reason I am able to blog now is because I am fucking sick, with a bad throat and ear infection, and horribly high temperature, and in 2 days I will be going to London. Lovely. *sighs* I am at home, winging in boredom, waiting for Nick to come home so he can cook dinner. I am so tired, I can't be arsed doing anything at all.

4 words : I LOATHE THIS COUNTRY.
Be grateful you are still in Malaysia.
People move here for a better quality life(I am speaking about professionals alike), but working professionals are the ones being harassed by the tax office, demanding more ways for them to rip all our earnings off. Standard of life is stagnant - like you can get a Zara top for £2, but taxes dont permit us to have disposable income (I wish I was still in Malaysia for that very reason, part of your income to a Louis Vuitton bag), dont permit us to enjoy life itself. And then you have the ever exoribtant bills. The seasons here would be the ideal excuse for gas companies to soar the bill up for you. So winter = people need more heat = rip us off and manipulate us that we have used more than we did. So there is never a couple of confrontations and negotiations to get the right amount to pay. Even then, it's not worth th stress anyway, cos the bills remain high. Even fucking alcohol and cigrettes are super duper expensive. Sighs. Movie tickets are expensive. Too cold to watch a football match. Only Sky Satellite seems cheap to me. I pay £17 for almost 1000 channels.

2) I hate the people here. Apparently, people up North was voted the friendliest of all people in England. That's not the case. Everyone are sodded bitches and bastards, complaining about why they are still living here (if you cant afford it, stay here la, as easy as that!), complaining about why people are so selfish when it reflects obviously that they are the sodded selfish fuckers. Hate the grumpy, fucked up faces you see every morning. And you call them the race where all etiquette and manners come from. FUCK ALL! The kids here are super duper useless, all wanting to be single mothers so that they can get government's benfits (not to mention every month 20% of my wages goes to the government - and goes to all those fucking miserbale cunts who refuse to get a job), chavs (pardon me for being racist, but chavs are similiar to the fucking Malay bitches with fake LV bags, with a kampung attitude), etc etc etc...

I feel like I'm living in a country worse than bloody Afghanistan. And guess what? The Archbishop of Canterbury is considering Syariah law to England. So much for being in a white-Christian-dominant country eh?

Poeple in my gym also are sodded depressed manics. When you flicker a smile at them, they dont smile back at you. Why? Just because they are fucking loaded is it? Go suck you own cocks la!, cant stand people like that!!

Another 5 words : I WANT TO GO HOME.
Can't wait for June, where I can see my mum, dad, sis and my girls.

Poeple at my workplace are nice, but are sodded arrogant people, just because they come from Cheshire, the bling county of England, most of them are richer than people who live in London. I have made just a handful of friends, and wish I had more :(

I was in Belgium and Switzerland last 2 weeks for the Reuters Fund Awards, just helping my functional boss, Rene, with the hedge funds winners. One good thing is that the company gives you money for all your expenditure, including dresses, makeup, and hair. So I bought a very simple Calvin Klein gown cost about £400, and went to Kerastase for hair, which was about £50, and Aveda for makeup, which was about £30 (cos I'm a member as well)

Another ripoff attempt by bloody people here : Me and Trav (my teammate from NZ, very nice girl) wanted to go for a nice, soothing massage and came up to a Chinese massage and acupuncture parlour. I enquired what the price for a massage is, and that bitch said to me £1 per minute. I'm like............fuck you and your business, cos nobody is going to be paying £60 for an hours massage, which is similiar to the Chinese parlours I get in Malaysia for 1/6 of the price for an hour. Sial betul.

A normal week of my life in England:-

Monday to Friday
7am - 8am - Wake up, mandi, makan breakfast
8am - 10 am - Travel to work
10am - 6pm - Work (Youtube and Facebook banned - Reuters Messaging only saviour, but most workaholic idiots dont chat with you)
6pm - 7pm - Travel from Macclesfield to Manchester
7pm - 8pm - Gym (either swimming, sauna, jacuzzi, steamroom combination or cardio and treadmill combination) - Mondays I go for yoga, which is up to 9pm
8pm - 9pm - Travel back to Rochdale
9pm - 10 pm - Eat, shower, and talk to Nick
10pm - Tidur

Saturday and Sunday
-Laze at home
-Go to Manchester
- Argue, and argue even more
- did I mention laze at home and watch Thundercats or any other dvds?

MY LIFE IS SHITE!!!

I hope everyone else is ok. Miss you girls at home, and the Flamingo is desert doha-land.

Mobile Number

2007-06-28T13:16:00.012+01:00

I have finally got my mobile number from Nick, its at

+447772972677

call, or text me ok people. :)

Manchester is so fucking cold on a summer day. doesnt feel summer at all. was feeling very miserable at some points. nick and I went into Rochdale town to shop for groceries. You dont really have to go to the city centre to get everything, even topshop and bodyshop is just down the road. how awesome. im going out for dinner with the Rogers tonight, going for Spanish so I'm looking forward to it.

WE drove down London and drove up back to Manchetser, and saw some of the most scenic highways in the world. the meadows, sheep grazing grass at 10pm with the full moonlight shining its mighty brightly lit glow on the farm it was just like sceneries in those scenic jigsaw puzzles.

we went to various places, abusing the zone 1-6 travelcard which we only paid like £7 each. we went to covent garden, kensington gardens, oxford st, bond st and hyde park only cos we had to return to Manchester on the same day. went to see my aunts and cousins in Northwood as well. ill post some pics of London and Manchester when I get my pics off my camera.

I miss you people, especially my family and friends from UTAR, the top 3, you know who you guys are :P

ill be updating soon, cheers all! xxxx

Adieu for now.

2007-06-23T08:50:00.000+01:00

So, the time is here.
I'll be leaving tomorrow in a 6am flight. Sial la I have to transit in Bangkok for 3 hours. Haih. Will reach Manchester at about 1am our time on Monday. To be honest, I am not exactly excited about my trip. Feeling very numb. I don't know how to feel la exactly. Not even excited to see Nick, can you believe it? *sighs*

Anyways, I will be blogging when I get my own laptop and broadband, courtesy of Nick. So kind of him. I'll be missing you people alot, especially my greatest friends in UTAR, you know who you are cos each of you reads my blog, well I hope so, since my blog si a bit of a bore.

((GIGANTIC HUGS AND KISSES))

See you guys in 2009, or if you come to England, visit me la in Manchester ok, you're more than welcome and you can stay in my lil home in the country. Boring I know.

Miss and love you loads. xxxx

Pain & Pleasure

2007-06-02T11:05:00.000+01:00

I will not forget the most painful moment I have ever encountered in my life. It's dental related so it sucks. Well, about 6 weeks ago, I went for my dental checkup, and the lady attended to me was doing her internship with my family dentist. And so, since my dad was doing a major root canal surgery, she decided to check for potential decaying and things. And she did find a smoldering case, and decided to fill it up before iy decays even further. That woman thinks she's so damn smart, she said that she needed to clean it from the depths of my tooth so I would not be infected anymore. Guess what? As clumsy as she would be, she drilled in too deep, it affected my nerves.

And now, I am suffering a MASSIVE, KILLING pain, I was crying every day and night, because my tolerance for pain is very very bad. And at the fine age of 22, I am fated to undergo a serious root canal surgery, thanks to the stupid-est houseman EVER. I would sue her, but I do not have the financial means to do so. And the damage for the tooth she cost was a hundred ringgit. Fucking expensive la. So the pain was so confusing, I always thought my wisdom tooth was all wrong. My doctor thinks it was the tooth she did the hugeass filling, until the first day of my root canal appointment, the pain I encountered just 15 hours before the surgery - beyond your most imposssible imagination. As your teeth nerves bore to the brain, I could get a stroke and within a split second I could be paralysed for good. No joke ok? Stupid woman, cant she bloody think that too deep a hole could affect me. So I was crying and wailing in Telawi Street because the pain was making me lose it. I was so close to jumping down a ravine. THAT PAINFUL. I couldnt even sip Ribena through the straw ok, I was fasting for 3 days. Thta bad ok. I was praying that all these would end, I was seriously going to kill myself because it was affecting me mentally, in a great degree. So yup, now I'm done with my first root canal appointment, and no more pain. But the wound needs time to heal before I embark on the second phase of the surgery. I mean, can't it just edn quickly? *sighs* well, at least the pain is gone, temporarily.

As for the pleasure part, I went to Toni & Guy to get a new haircut and look. Some English chap attended to me and guess what, this is the friendliest hairdresser I have ever met. What a bloody small world, he actually knows Russ from EL. I was uncontrollably laughing at his jokes - very good sense of humour. He was telling me ow immigration rules can be such a bitch. It's not easy to move from one country to another, especially in countries which are a hit among people, like the US, Australia, the UK, and what not. Can you believe it that the Malaysian airport personnel were going on and on about British colonialism, taking it out on the poor chap, just because he has a Chinese wife? The guy is happily married, let him be, some people are just plain nosy and stupid! So we talked and talked and talked, even with the conversational distraction, he still managed to give me the look I want, it was worth every penny. And damn, San fran coffee and cakes, in the house. Awesome! But I guess it's all part of the bill, but hey, the company was awesome, isnt it? Even the Chinese lads assisting him were such down to earth, chatty people. I like good company and chatty people while giving you their service. When I went for my waxing appointment, the woman waxing my bits off was so warm and all, I didnt even feel a single tear or pain. That good. But I get distracted and carried away by chatty people, and sometimes, that's a weakness.

I am starting to pack up, I dont even know where to start. *sighs* My plane tickets are exorbitant, simply expensive. Padan muka me la, having to travelduring summer. Ish. My last day at the big R was.......boring..I shall say. I think I'm not that needed, well I feel not needed, from the way the people there were treating me. No one even wished me luck and things. It hurts, but I think they are just consumed with the over-occupied minds. Leave them being, aye?

Time to crack my head again, on how to pack. I'll be blogging later right before I depart.

Adieu.

Why is life today known as....life?

2007-05-14T05:31:00.000+01:00

I was sobbing, and still sobbing at the outcome of the season 2 finale of Grey's Anatomy. When Denny passed away(I knew he will, then where's the drama right?), and Izzie found him and was lying next to his corpse, while all her other fellow interns were looking on, was very disturbing. Even more, when you can't accept it because you were asked to marry the person you love just an hour ago. The way she was brawling at how life can change within a flash of lightning was sad enough, but when the background song of Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars was played, I cried even more.

It's funny how evolution takes place, and dictates life as how it is right now. Some think it's a beautiful thing, some think it's sucky. All I know is I'll never find the real reason to why people are created to die evetually, why do innocent people have to be sacrificed for the blind, fatal desires of the bad and the ugly, etc. What's even more amusing and bizarre is that how biological factors, superstition, global economical distribution, and other things contribute to your mortal existence and how long is that for for every varied individual. I just wish...I could find some answers to questions like why do good people die for nothing, sometimes, and more. I wish the global antagonists are the ones that die from causing harm to what I'd like to picture an ideal world to live in would be. Like Denny deserved a heart, and could possibly live longer with it, but why did he die? Was it written as his fate, to die from something that saved his life? Was it the blood clot that made him die? Was it that God made the bloodclot to happen, thence taking his life. (Denny mentioned he believed in the existence of heaven and would prefer to go to heaven if given a choice). What made Denny believe in heaven? God? His personal choice? It's all a puzzling puzzle to give us all shizzles and headaches to come up with our own hypothesis. Why was Izzie too desperate to give him the heart he deserved, the heart that killed him? Did she want him to die so she could inherit all his money, or is it simple real love?

Go figure. But do not bother if you do not watch Grey's Anatomy or prefer Scrubs and shit like that. If this is interesting to you and you do not watch Grey's Anatomy, then I've given you a good reason to watch it.

And so the days of slogging are coming to an end..

2007-05-06T08:06:00.000+01:00

...yes indeed.
So here I am, having approximately only 20 days more at the big R. It's been pleasant, it's been memorable, it's been rough, it's been dull and bleak in a way. But I'll take all memories with me to my grave, at least an opportunity with them.

I've been deep into severe depression with the family, especially. Having parents who would never ever understand what you want to do with their children's future, what more without even trying to put some trust on their children, already approaching adulthood, really makes you sick. I felt like I've wasted all my life lsitening to their stupid advice, and fuck, i wish i was fucking rich at this moment. I'll just fucking leave everything here, because I am in such a suicidal condition now. No fucking mortal being in my home realises that.

They say "patience is virtue" - fuck you lot who says that all the time. Life is fucking too short to be patient for everything, you sickos. I'm done being patient. I'm going to snap and break all hell loose if NO ONE is going to notice that I am in a pretty bad state now.

I'm so glad the evil folks are going Down Under for 2 weeks. I hate it sooooo much that even after I'm done with uni, I have to still rot myself in this shackhole. I feel like bursting....soooo much :(

I watched Spiderman 3 yesterday, and it was really good. James Franco is tastier than a fat American chocolate mudcake. Why oh why did he have to die *sobs*

I haven't been blogging, but I'm so mad right now I can't even think of the things I've done the past month. BAH.

2007-03-29T05:51:00.000+01:00

It's been awhile since I've done things that I used to do before I landed myself in this job. Now that I finally have some time for a breather, I should just sit here in my extremely messy work station and blog about what I've been up to and what kept me missing for a while.

This one whole month of this job is meant to shift my super immature mentality to an extremely forward thinking, fast paced "grown up" woman's mentality. Inthis case, I am forever lost in between "big conversations" and "high, corporate mentalities". SCARY? I dont think so anymore. I believe I have taken this path for a while to get myself on track, to think forward and be more mature in life. There are other ways to seek maturity as you age, but this made my mind sweep into the waves of bureaucracy and that can be fun.

Enough of that. Every week there's something to be always done. But on the dark side, after 8++ hours of sitting right in front of my dual screen computer(it doesnt rock anymore, it kills), I emerge from the office like a hobo lost in civilization, looking like a red eyed monster, who doesnt feel like looking at the computer screen anymore during the weekend. Working here makes me hate computers like anything, hence the reason I've gone missing from blogging and so forth.

Last night the CEO and MD of Asia was in KL and he hosted a cocktail evening at the office's lounge. And the food was absolutely delectable. All by San Fran Smokehouse(?). Concoction of tandoori fish, samosas so fine it melts in your mouth so fast, honey glazed chicken wings, spaghetti and clams, loads and loads of mouth watering cakes, cheese and biscuit platter, free flow of wine and spirits..aaahh.. As I stepped into the function, my dear bureau chief introduced me to the MD. Why of all people he had to introduce me la? I'm such a koochie fart in the office, almost non existent(except my loud mouth). And he started talking to me about my work, 3/4 of which I do not have any answers to. My bureau chief did alot of backup for me. I felt like a bloody loser. To add salt to spoil my repo, my face was bleached in horror, pimples squeaking out for no good reason. BAH. All in all it was a good night, trying to fit in the "big crowd" there. After that Shanice and I went to watch Mr Bean's Holiday. Really hilarious. That two words sums it all up.

The week before two blokes from the Singaporean office came to visit. One of them was the Singaporean Bureau Chief and the other a corporate journalist. Had loads of pints in Chinoz, gossiped.Topics included politics, corporate staff(chose not to participate), ipods, etc etc. Interesting stuff actually.

And more...haha.

OK, lets talk about the movies I've watched so far. I went for 300 with my sister last weekend. Totally exhilarating. Loads of violence that I heart. Well made. Future movies would be "An Inconvenient Truth", Charlotte's Web", and "Pan's Labyrinth".

Ever since I've worked here in KLCC, no women's temptation can be put to stop. I've spent close to 2000 ringgit on retail therapy this whole month and I'm kicking myself for it, even though I love all the stuff and dining I've done so far. And I plan to shop more later. Haha. Someone shoot me please. I'm not saying like its a good thing you know. It sucks to know your just spenidng and having nothing at the end of the day. It really sucks.

I really miss all my friends in UTAR, especially the good ones - Deborah, Ashley, Harwin and Jasmine. I wonder what you guys are up to. Congrats to Jasmine on your new job. Hope for much more to come.

Love you all alot, but its time for lunch. I've been starving since 11pm last night.

Tears of....disappointment...really..

2007-03-14T13:50:00.000Z

Did you know that I will be 22 in 2 months time today. Notice the play of 2s? I will be able to say this again when I'm 22 in 2 days time - 12th May ;) Lame.

I went to collect my graduation robe today. Mark was being a sweetheart for letting me have such a long lunch break so my mum and dad picked me up from Asia Jaya and drove me to UTAR to collect my frock. Then rang Ashley and the girls have actually dispersed on what would be Deb's final outting with us for about 3 years. Then after lunch with parents, on the way back to work, it got me thinking..3 years of chances, and more chances to get to know a truly wonderful person has just gone to waste, because I chose somewhat a wrong path. Not entirely wrong, but I felt the pinch as time went by. Got me thinking that Deb is going away this weekend, won't be back for 3 years, and in 3 years I'll probably be having a first kid, maybe pregnant with a second(seeing how Nick and I are horny bunnies ;)), and life just got different. I do not want life to be different in that sense that we can have girlie night outs, speak about everything from nonsensical fetishes of Clay Aikens to how mature we've been after our studies, etc etc etc. Hogging a child close to me like a joey in a mummy's pouch while sipping on margarita is definitely not a great way to enjoy.

So I decided to call Deb and realised I was going to break down. Thankfully Miss world was with her shopping for makeup so I tagged along in KLCC. (Mark would sure freak out if they really saw who my "mum" was) So much of given time, so little made proper use of. But reality is set. No friend can say no to a person's decision, what more with preparations being done. And when it's time to say goodbye, its really difficult. It breaks you to say goodbye to someone you really love and cherish. So I gave Deb the farewell I'd give Nick everytime he leaves (minus the sloppy kissing and more erotic caresses). I went back to the office and brawled my all out. Thankfully no one was near my emotionally charged up zone. Jalil was busy hogging the lines when KLIA went pitch black for 3 hours. Mark, Y-Sing, Chuang, Niki..all not around *phew* So I made sure I cried before anyone saw me. Malar got puzzled when my eyes bengkak-ed and eyeliner flowing down, depicting a gothic look.

Ok, I'm off to bed. Got a date on the phone with Oliver.

Muaks all. xoxox
Special hugs and kisses to Deb

my celeb lookalikes

2007-03-10T02:04:00.000Z

Thanks Oliver for this
It's pretty cool :)

A girl's dream

2007-03-08T14:19:00.000Z

I had an awesome dream last night.
I dreamt Gucci went on sale, and I was trying on a skirt that went to as low as RM50. And my sister bought a swell Gucci watch that got me freaking jealous. HAHA. I woke up, went to KLCC to scour for RM50 Gucci in the flagship boutique. I fainted when I saw reality - the real price tag.

And so..I've made friends with almost everyone at the big R. The frontdesk lady, Anne became my "ibu gosip" - LOL. So we were talking about why she only has one child. The fact that she miscarried all the time due to anaemia scares me. I am severely anaemic and it would be the worst of all nightmares to miscarry, and cause an ultimate scar in my life. So she told me a few remedies to start off with, seeing that there is mounting pressure for me to get hitched really soon.

Went for lunch with Clarence today and told me alot of very beneficial stuff which I would always savour to my grave. Learning from my assistant bureau chief? Damn good. He even bought me my drink hehe.

Nick called me a newshound LOL. cos i keep updating him of news. the database self updates itself with news and more news, with thousands of self updated news every second. This is the most dynamic work system I've ever encountered.
Ok I'm heading to bed x

The Big R, J, A, D.....and more..

2007-03-02T12:40:00.000Z

Finally something good (if not great) is happening in my life which is worth blogging about.

I've finally joined the big R.(dont mind me with the initials. The R code of conduct freaked me out, and some colleagues from R UK has my blog addy) Despite being so nervous I went to the loo like never before, the warmth from the editorial department and the extremely comfortable work settings(and not to mention the very lovely dual flat screen pc *rubs it in to Deb MORE AND MORE AND MORE*) made me want to work there forever and ever but there's no room for mistakes in my job, so its scary actually. But the editorial team are fun people who knows their stuff, although I felt a bit awkward during my first day, seeing they are much older with a deeper mantality of life, so I'm happy. N is helping me throughout my career progression even though i wont be a permanent staff there, and thats a great boost to my performance. I am happy. Period. I still miss Nick so that doesnt change anything emotionally. To be honest, I've kind of lost patience with this long diatnce thing (no Im not going to split up) but one of us has to go to the otehr side, and I'm requesting for Nick to do that till I'm done with the big R.
I had a bad start but a good middle and finish for the day. Came to work with a few mishaps on the way to work. I dropped my nose stud and was 4 ringgit poorer cos of the replacement, the LRT suddenly braked and I was holding anything to grip msyelf...so yeah imagine away..my undies got soaked even before I peed. Deb will tell you if you ask her, its just embarassing. And I slammed the door on anotehr woman, and I took the wrong bakery orders for my breakfast. :D

Good cos I met up with Deb and the sweet intern girl from EP. Deb is such a sweetie, but such a funny lil girl as well.
Last night was fantastic although my appetite to eat was bad and I was so sick and tired. Met up with Jasmine, Ashley, Bebe, Kuan Mei, Simpson, Angel and boyfriend. Was a huge TGIF fiesta, although it wasnt a Friday. Great company, great topics of coversation, although I enjoyed the Norbit talk the most with Bebe and Deb. And Deb dropped the bombshell that shes leaving to take another career route for the time being, to kick back and see what the world has to offer, anD I personally think that it will benefit her so much because she gets to see what others wouldnt in maybe 70 years? She deserves it, because she's got it. Personality, wit, charm :) I'll definitely miss her, so much, but Nick and I are pacting to fly the big Q for this 3 years to see if we could spot her. Nyek Nyek ;) So now I'm left with Ash baby, Jasmine and Bebe Miss world. I'm happy. No complaints.

I hope for more exciting outtings like this. Its been fun.

Keith dropped me home today and its been fun catching up with him. We talked about music, life, so much more throughout our extremely dreary journey to Klang. He's got some really cool ringtones I wish I had them too :|

Ok my sweethearts, Knee's aching, eye's bulging out and I;m knackered.

Night all x

Classic My Family quotes

2007-02-25T03:54:00.000Z

I miss My Family. The whole series is over and there will be repeats from March onwards on BBC Entertainment. I'll be bloody working. Sighs..life IS unfair :|

Anyway, just like to share to you lot on some of my favourite quotes throughout the whole series.

Ben: [seeing Susan cooking] What's that?
Susan: It's my everything-in-the-fridge-stew. I'm using up all the food before it goes bad.
Ben: Smells like you're a little late.
_________________________________________

Susan: I'd like to spend our anniversary on a romantic weekend trip to Dorset.
Ben: Well, I'd like a weekend as Michelle Pfeiffer's love toy, but we all have to live with our disappointments, don't we?
___________________________________________

[Nick is trying to chat up the much-pierced hotel maid]
Nick: I'm here for the tattooist's convention, actually.
Rita: Then why haven't you got any tattoos?
Nick: I don't use ink. I'm in it for the pain.
Rita: Oh? You into S&M? B&D?
Nick: Sure, S&M, B&D, Q, LMNOP, all the letters.
______________________________________________

Man at Bar: I'll have a lager.
Nick: Coming right up.
[gives the man a green cocktail] Man at Bar: That's not a lager.
Nick: It's better. I call it a Nick-tini.
Man at Bar: I'd rather have a lager.
Nick: OK.
[pulls out another cocktail, this time a white one]
Man at Bar: What's that?
Nick: A Nick-orita. Packed full of Tequila, you'll love it.
Pub Landlord: Just give the man a lager.
Nick: Look, I can't. I don't want to point fingers, but somebody forgot to order more barrels.
Pub Landlord: You were supposed to order more.
Nick: That's why I don't want to point fingers.
Pub Landlord: You're fired.
Nick: No, wait! You haven't seen my cocktail routine!
[tosses cocktail shaker between hands, throws it up in the air, it lands on the bar and smashes]
Pub Landlord: [pause] You're still fired.
Nick: Fine, but you haven't seen the last of Nick harper!
[walks out from behind the bar, and sits down next to the other man at the bar]
Nick: I'll have a pint, it's been a rough day

HAHAHAHAHA...classic slacker ;)
___________________________________________________

Ben: [Susan finds Ben on couch reading while supposed to be playing hide and seek] Oh, you found me. Okay, now it's your turn to hide.
Susan: I've got a better game, it's called hunt the testicles.
Ben: Well you know where you hid them
__________________________________________________

[about Nick]
Susan: I didn't give him cash.
Ben: Good!
Susan: I gave him your bank card

Michael: [Reads a text message from Nick to Ben] "Tesco's out of Brie, so gn to Paris."
Ben: "Gn?"
Michael: "Prices 2 high, so gn to Nice for chse."
Ben: Mm-hmm.
Michael: "Don't worry about money. I have Dad's bnk card." Any reply?
Ben: Yep, yep.
[Michael types in reply]
Ben: "Dr Nk, u r f'd."

Susan: Harper is my slave name. I wanted to keep my name at our wedding, but a male-dominated society insisted I change it to "Harper".
Ben: I thought you liked "Harper".
Susan: It's nothing personal. But I liked my name. It was like a comfortable and cosy home. And I feel when I got married I was evicted from it. An exile to live in a hovel in a swamp filled with surly lizards.

HAHAHAHAHA...poor Ben ;)

Ben: [to Janey] How dare you not be gay? Good God! You put us through anxiety, anger, confusion, doubt, anger...
Susan: You said anger.
Ben: I was angry twice!

[Michael breaks the living room window with a bazooka]
Susan: What the hell was that?
Michael: Um, if I said it was nothing, would you believe me?
Susan: Michael!
Michael: All right, it was for my science project... on organic foods.
Susan: [spacing each word] You fired a rocket through a window?
Michael: Come on, Mum. Do you think I'm so stupid I'd launch a rocket through our living room window? It was a sausage.
Susan: Michael, you could have killed someone!
Michael: It was an organic sausage.
Susan: That's it. You're grounded until further notice.
Michael: Grounded?
Susan: Michael, you could've taken someone's eye out.
Michael: Don't be silly, it exploded before it hit anything.
Susan: [Thinks] Did Nick put you up to this?
Michael: Actually, we had been planning to start up our own high-speed food delivery service.
[Abi runs into the house]
Abi: You're not gonna believe this! I was getting off the bus, when it started raining sausage! I have prayed for this day.
Michael: See? Our first satisfied customer

Susan: Give it up, Ben. I'm a chess player, and I'm thinking three moves ahead of you.
Ben Harper: I'm playing Scrabble.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Abi: Did you know that the span of your hand added with the length of your middle finger is the same as your foot?
Ben: Did you know that the distance between my hands and your neck is closer than you think?

HAHAAH...thats about it for now, There are too many quotes that are pretty funny actually. But here's a sufficient gist :)

Hope...dangles on a string...

2007-02-21T13:29:00.000Z

Familiar tune? I've been absolutely bored that I actually caught up with both Spiderman movies en route to the finale in May. Lame. Period.

Anyways...just a quick update..
Valentines day - ABSOLUTE RUBBISH! Firstly, my "bf" forgot to call me. I ended up calling him. Secondly, he was supposed to surprise me with something, apparently it's not here yet, and I sent my gift WAY after he did and he's received it. So what did I get in return? Zilch. AND NO DATES PER SAY! Gahhhh!!!

Chinese New Year - Absolute bore. Went on a "stuffing-myself" spree and got scraps of pennies from angpows. I'm not complaining though. I enjoyed some cultural performances (as though I've not seen them before) but hey, Chinese New Year falls only once a year.(NO offense, unlike Hari Raya Puasa which is just a crap holiday based on the appearance of the moon in the sky, which seems to me that it keeps creeping up with other holidays, spoiling the emphasis on the festivities of better-observed holidays)

After strings of boring celebrations, this was a twist to any conventional CNY celebrations. I gathered much initiative to stick the 1/4 of my obligation as family member to accompany the other 3 folks to the state celebration, which is in a highly publicized Buddhist temple 20 mins away from my home in Jenjarom. The rain poured but it did not wear away my spirits to see a different touch to the festival and my oh my oh my...the Buddhist temple was ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY GORGEOUS!!! Such marvel. The biulding was actually covered with a bed of Chinese lanterns, accompanied by lush landscape garden, transcending various Buddhism practices (Shinto, etc). and CHINESE VEGETARIAN FOOD!! YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY!! Shame, bloody shame Nick is not here. He'd love to see something like that. And to my biggest amazement I've never seen so many freely swimming Japanese carp in a single pond in my life. Can you iamgine just sitting by this tranquil pond and losing yourself into the otherworld, peace, and quiet..? Just what I dream of. I didn't even see as much when I was in Korea. Worse of it all, MY CAMERA DIED ON ME!! So there, couldnt take any photos. I will make a trip there on Sunday just to snap pictures of this wonderful religious shrine. Absolutely magnificent!

Some pics from CNY:-

I have tried to upload ALOT of pictures but it always fails I have no idea why. So when I REALLY have the chance I'll post some pics *double sighs*

On a brighter but not so bright note..

I won't be bored anymore cos I secured a contract placement for 6 months at a damn good company so I'll be starting in March. It's pretty daunting actually considering it's not PR at all LOL. I'm still amazed as how I got the job. But my CV will be of flourishing wonders with this experience from this company. Why not so bright note? Cos this will delay my trip to bloody England but you know what? When my bloody visa is done, serves them right cos they have to wait till my contract expires. So there you go. I told Nick to be here by this summer tillmy bloody contract expires. Blah. This is such a complicated mess. Sighs..why cant things just work out the way I want to?

More pics soon, I need to get back to this ancient book(remind me to get me blogging about this very iteresting artefact. And moi Francois. ;)

Night all! x

Dual Celebration

2007-02-14T06:21:00.000Z

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

GONG XI FA CAI, HONG PAO NA LAI ;)

A dual celebration, joy and hapiness for everyone.
My Valentines day, for the second time around, I will be literally alone. Just sitting in front of the PC doing nothing. Waiting to go to my Nick-the-nutter. At least my sister has a date for Valentines, after a series of unfortunate events that took place in her life. I'd rather be alone on Valentines than having to go through what she's going through, and behaving like an attention-seeker.

I'm super pissed with Blogger. I was about to blog about my Carey Island and Bangkok trip, mana tau the pics refuse to load. so there you go....technology is shit!

Nothing much at all here.
Hope everyone is well.

Signing off.

I have a dream...

2007-02-02T09:02:00.000Z

I had one of the most beautiful dreams 2 nights ago.
I dreamt I had a holiday in the North Pole
It was just out of this world. I wish this dream was real, so real it clouds away all my misery and sorrow right now..

Imagine........

Beautiful innit?
The gradients of nature, the smooth and soft feel of the beauty of our nature..intertwined with my soul, plus I have an interest (a lifelong thing) for astronomy.

There's one thing I'd like to do before I pass on.
To see the Northern Lights.
Anyone, buy me a ticket to Alaska?

xx

Excitement vs Security

2007-01-25T00:59:00.000Z

Would you prefer a man who offers excitement and passionate ignition of love, or someone who offers love and security.
Call me a boring sod, but I prefer the latter.

You take your pick and feedbacks are welcome

Jades and pregnancies

2007-01-22T09:20:00.000Z

Random..

Whats with Jades and their attitude problems?
First we have Jade Cole from ANTM Cycle 6
Then we have Jade Goody, the big breasted bitch (BBB) who appeared in Big Brother (BB) - a play of Bs eh? ;)
Probably Jade Jagger is a fuck up herself.

_____________________________________________________________________

Whats with January a fav month to conceive and pop?
My cousin's wife just gave birth in New Year's day to a boy, and I just got the news that another cousin of mine, his wife is expectin their first child in June.
Michelle is also expecting her third child in August
Rowena, who happens to be my age is also expecting her first child in July, with her bf.
My colleague at Expatriate Lifestyle is also popping in April.

Damn.

Hypothethically:-
1) Are people happier and more fertile in the end of the year where work stress has been put aside?
2) Does winter and staying in make shagging more appealing?
3) Christmas is for strengthening love bonds between family and friends. Does that involve much shagging with love?

You tell.
I don't know.

xx

The grasshopper that didn't quite make it...

2007-01-16T10:57:00.000Z

....after trying to scare the shit off me.
Well one very fine day as I was hopping up and down the stairs(for no bloody reason, its the insanity factor in me), I came across a rare sight - a grasshopper in a concrete jungle aka my home.
So mum told me to take it wrap it with tissue and bin it. I did it. Turns out the green thing actually crept out of the bin and made it to the floor. So I again crushed it and put in in the bin. Keeping an eye on the bin, I thought, great the lil thing is dead. When suddenly....

I looked up the ceiling and it was crawling upside down like Spiderman. It REALLY freaked me out. Like some bad omen waking from the dead. So it was there, just motionless. And after a few hours you see the grasshopper actually made it to the other side of the house. It is scary, suddenly. So after much observation, the grasshopper made it to the stairs. I tried to crush it again but obviously it failed cos the hopper was finally hopping. And then..

My mum suashed it with her palm...and dear hoppy went to heaven. God grant peace to the greeny

Grassy's final moments

______________________________________________________________________

Had a lovely La Bodega dinner with the 3 angels. Got my pod and Ashley got a pod jacket to fit my poddie snugly. How thoughtful of her. Thanks very much.
Funny how the 3 of them teach me to be different things that make a person whole. Bebe teaches me that life is not worth being so uptide about. Shes the take it easy sorta person. Ashley is the one that talks sense into me. Deb is the one that teaches me the right female personality - feminine, gentle, etc. They have been a true gem in my life, can never be able to thank them fully for a wonderful friendship. Cheers to all goodness for the 3 of them.

My current fav song is Des'ree's I'm Kissing you. Very sensuous, sad, touching.
It was played in the season finale of Waterloo Road, where Lorna tried to kill herself from the betrayal of her husband with her bestie, Izzie. Damn, I can't bloody wait for the second season.

Over and out xoxox

The best of Britain

2007-01-08T04:39:00.000Z

I'm so glad that I'm only working part time cos, BBC entertainment has reached our shores. And boy do I miss all the shows I've watched, be it from BBC, to ITV, to Sky to Granada

Among my current obssessions:-

Raunchier, sexier, and hotter, more original and definitely more mature than Desperate Housewives

People who want to get another perspective of the insights of the public relations world, watch this.

Distinctively better than any conventional high school drama - Waterloo Road. Love the teachers man!!

MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE. MUST WATCH!!! Love every single character of the show. The best of twisted British comedy. I'd go for British humour more than anything else in this world.

One more (couldnt get the poster of it) is called "My Life in Film". One of the best dark comedies I've seen.
___________________________________________________________________

Isn't this teddy cute? He's an Arsenal fan...just like me :D Its from Nick, see its part of the Best of Britain ;)

__________________________________________________________________

Joke of the century: Malaysiahas its own "London Eye"
Only people who have not seen the London Eye would be amazed with such a "marvel"
I'm not amused, amazed, whatsoever...
Malaysians ARE the best copycats in the world..

The eye of Malaysia? HAH! Can you be more original?

Ugh
x

Photoblog

2006-12-23T15:25:00.001Z

After much blabbering in my previous entries, let the visuals stimulate your minds ;)

Starting off...

Jasmine's farewell lunch

A toast...for everlasting friendship, all all that matters are the 4 of you :)

An amazing kutali

Another pair of amazing kutalis - debbie long legs and bebe the miss world

I dunno why the heck I look so tired in all my pics?

See? I told you I was tired :P

And Now....I've gained strength

I look so duuuuh in here........

Love you bunch of devils....and miss you people like anything :(

Shopping escapades with my biological sister :P

My sister always looks good in pics....I wonder why

I'm so the bloody opposite - what stands out is me upper assets. I'm a man with boobies

Makans @ Chilis

Sisterly love , thanks for the lovely day despite a series of shopping mishaps

Run for your lifeee!!!

Kulfi @ Bangsar with me lovelies....damn syok!

Doesn't authentic Indian food rock? Thanks Deb

Day out at Bangsar

I'm an indian with chinito eyes.....with me perky Jade Buddha

Starters and my French Martini, with one rum and coke (2 drinks on the first go)

Madame Darshini une narcissiste

TSB Orgasm *comes* :P:P:P:P:P

Alot of other drinks

Cherry picking!!

Runs in the family

Hd 2 eggnogs and a bottle of stella before ending the day. was too excited to have more drinks until I forgot picks.

So lets say I've gone too alky in a day. God have mercy on my liver.

________________________________________________________

Have a joyous blessed Christmas everyone! With loads of hugs, kisses and love.

My Christmas is going to be a simple affair with the family...
more pics, I promise.

I'm leaving right after my convocation so just to let some friends know that I won't be gone till my convo...so grab me for a drink anytime you please. before I piss off for a good 3 years...really...

Thinking of how I am going to part with my family and life here saddens me. But life has to go one, a choice has been made and there's no turning back.

Frineds who want to come over, let me know, accomodation is on me.

xx

why the fuck am i saying all these now? lol...
well its just a notice. I'll keep reminding..

alrighty
hitting the sack...

gone..........

Accidentally in store

2006-12-18T22:56:00.000Z

I'm in store, I'm in store, I'm in store, I'm in store....(adapted from Counting Crows' Accidentally in Love)..

Speaking of "accidentally" - I've met and encountered several accidents that happened while shopping.

1) My sister was so busy shopping that I was practically neglected so I was just walking around out of sheer boredom, and do people watchin when it can be rather enjoyable, looking at people so damn kan-cheong during the sales season. So this boy was walking with his parents and probably inhaled crack when he saw a mannequin with Swarovski bra and undies on, and he somehow just ran over the mannequin and it fell on the boy. His mom screamed, so did the sales assistant in charge of that particular bra type - and the boy's father was so embarassed he didn't know what to do, and eventually picked up the mannequin with the unhooked bra, and even actually adjusted the set of lingerie on the mannequin.

2) We were at Hush Puppies and my sister was shopping for work shoes, and it was almost at the end of the shopping trip and I was exhausted like never before, just from shopping. So I was sitting down and looking at the bags on display, which was pretty sweet, until sweet turned bitter like nver before! A bloody piece of decor(turns out to be some brick, disguised in HushPuppies brand name) suddenly just flipped, somersaulted from the top shelf of the display shelves, and landed directly on my toe, and landed on the ground, creating much unwanted attention from fellow shoppers. Not only did my leg went bengkak, I couldnt even walk and I am still limping from it till today. Ishhhh...

3) I bumped into several Osim buntings and ran over a few people due to the amount of idiots actually cramming the shopping mall. God, this is total eyesore, and I couldnt even see Osim buntings. 3/4 of people in shopping malls are just walking around for the sake of it, not even shopping properly. Pisses me off man!!

So yup, highlights of my holiday would be Jasmine's farewell lunch at Kim Gary. It was simple delectable, the food. Company was great. The same old insane Jasmine and Bebe, the much sane-r Ashley and Deb...ahhh...sad Deb had to elave earlier cos we got drugged baby - by Dome drinks. If you noticed from Ashley's blog, its got more details on that. But it was a good day. Got Jasmine Christmas pressies, got the rest of the girls Christmas Cards.

Yesterday was hard-core shopping with my sister at MidV and my sister went to KLCC to get Coach handbags. So there she was, having me write down all the things she want to buy on a piece of paper, and ticking off the ones accomplished. The 12 hour shopping ordeal turns out to be a flop - ended up shopping for unneccessities. We've got 20 needed stuff, sis ended up only buying 5 off the list. Haih...But nevertheless, sis got me some things I like. She got me a Bombshell fitness pants, which looks so multi-purpose, you can never go wrong with it even when you are going to work, cos it does look like a work's slacks. Also you can go to bed with it, and work out with it.

And so after a whole day of shopping, and the movie which I'll never ever go again, if the genre is similiar to another 5 good Hindi movies that has gone to the box office, we went to makan at Chili's, out of hunger and out of retail lust. We had Triple Play for starters, our idiotic server can't even speak proper English, bodo! And main course was Lamb Shoulder for me, and Cajun Chicken for sister, and to top it all off we had Molten Choc cake. At the end of the day I was so stuffed, and with the hurt toe and numb right feet, I was literally going to die, waiting to return home and fall asleep like a snooze-log. And I finally did, in one piece. Thought with my leg like that, I couldnt cross roads and might get run over by some truck whatsoever.

Yesterday, left home at 8am to catch Happy Feet at 12pm in MidV. Wore a very pretty top I got from Sydney and a print skirt I bought in Zara a very long time ago and would be the first time wearing it out. I left home, walked for like 15 mins when it was only a 5 mins walk to the nearest bus stop that leads me to town. Not only I have a hurt feet, I had a torn muscle, unattended, thinking that it would not cause me problems, since I've never had pains after the tear. So I was trying to walk with an ultimate speed, but I couldnt keep up to the pace because if I put pressure and strain my feet from power walking, I would be suffering to death just from doing what everyone does everyday - walking. And to add salt to spoil the day, I have to go through several not-so-safe and lonely paths alone, and I wouldnt want my life to end there by being murdered by so sicko randoms. So I had to push myself to walk really fast to avoid that lonely place. Besides, there are no other laternative routes to get to the enarest bus stop. So more work for me. I'm sure you guys must be thinking I live in scaryville. I don't actually. My neighbourhood is pretty serene and peaceful. Lets go back tot he outfit blunder of it all. My bloody skirt, when I lat tried it, it felt like almost an eternity ago, it was just fitting, just what I wanted, when I start doing power walking, it can just fall off like a feather burshing your cheeks slightly while falling. So in total awkwardness, I was pulling my skirt up and holding my bag on another hand and managed to get to uni to submit the soft copy of my thesis. But i was dying and I needed to get to MidV to buy a new pair of bottoms. so I reached mv by cab, and dont let me go there. The cab driver was coughing every second like he was suffering from tuberculosis and I was cringing to the fact to just scream at him and hurry up cos I have a wardrobe crisis and my bloody taxi fare is going to shoot up!!! Finally I reached mv, rushed to the nearest shop I could see, it was Guess. I went to Guess cos last time they had pretty good sales with great deals, which I missed. Found this perfectly fit Melrose jeans and went to pay for it. While paying for it 2 blunders happened. My skirt fell off (really, but thank god no one was shopping there that time) and also the guy told me there was no fucking sale!! Geramnyerrrrr!!!!!!!!!! But really, I cant afford to run to another shop to buy anotehr pair of bottoms, and I never bloody thought to just buy a belt and run it over my bloody skirt(this is how fast my mind solves probelms and thinks wisely), until Ashley told me, like 6 hours after this bloody drama. Aiyooorrr...so I bought a Guess jeans for dont wanna tell you how much for. Only Deb knows it for sure. Aiyyyooooh...I was feeling guilty the whole day man. I mean, the jeans is comfortable, stylish, sexy, ohh la la sorta garment, but the price I paid for it *shoots herself* nevermind...nevermind...everyone learns from mistakes. FFFUUUCCCKKK!!!! ITS A BLOODY BIG MISTAKE THAT COULD BE AVOIDED. *slaps forehead*

After changing into the jeans, I went to grab my Happy Feet ticket, and then only I had to see Diesel la, with cheaper quality jeans as well. Bodoh is means BODOH MAN!! If you want to call people BODOH, the author of the regretful post is the first class example. *seals BODOH on her forehead and ships herself to a muddy sty and drowns herself there* While waiting for the show to start, I had lunch at McDs, went for the movie which put a permanent smile on my face. Mumble is so me. Bodoh but cute!! Hahahahahahaha. *envisions herself a baby penguin* Awwwww....I even shed a few tears for some very touchy parts. So me..or probably I changed myself into -inhabitants of the south pole mode- It was an entertaining watch.

After that, I just walked around, got myself a pair of Skechers and for sister some gift set from L'occitane. And then I realised that I've punished my ATM above the limit, so I decided to just wind down for the day to Coffee Bean and a book I got from MPH. It's Kiran Desai's new book, the on she won an award for. So far it has been a pretty interesting read. Sipping my belgian choc ice blended and munching my choc chip muffin was heavenly and rejuvenating, after retail blunders accomplished. Read the book until Ashley arrived at about 5pm plus. Sat and talked and waited for Deb to showed up. Deb arrived and we just sat and talked until about 7:30pm we took a cab to bangsar.

Dined at Saravana Bhavana for authentic Indian vegetarian food. Mostly of Anglo-Indian food which I'm not used to (I mean still shame on me, cos even Deb and Nick knows more about all these than I do, fact I'm being Indian) But it was an enjoyable meal with great company, its just that my appetite was not as good as its supposed to be, partially cos of the bloody jeans la!!! So bodoh!! arrrggghhh!!! Best part of it was the rasam and kulfi...power to the max man! There's more on Deb's blog Took a train back home, and chatted to Nick about the food we had, he loves kulfi like anything, just like Deb.

Came home, chucked all my stuff and went to bed!!

And now I'm here..god knows what I'll be up to...BUT DEFINITELY NO MORE SHOPPING, uncless really necessary.

Its not as bad as you allt hink. I had a great time, I just made mistakes which I'm not too happy about and I let it bother me. sigh.

__________________________________________________________

3rd part of "My bf in a nutshell"

Dar: Dear, my friend is working with Al-Jazeera.
Nick: WHHHHAAAAATTT??? For a Muslim extremist group.
Dar: Noooooo, stupid!!! That's al-Qaeda. AL JAZEERA!!! Arab version of the BBC?
Nick: Ahhh....I see.....

signing off xoxox

England was not built in a day...

2006-12-11T13:24:00.000Z

.....that is why English people deserve to be bludgeoned to death!!
Arrggghhhhhh!!!!
Just got a bloody e-mail from my boss saying the bloody Home Office are moving so my visa will arrive later than expected. *gets ready the catapults and giant rock formations* Perfect timing, aye? Already Christmas is around the corner, want to move office NOW ONLY for wat? Dont you bloody know that moving is something so strenous? Don't you want to enjoy your blah-dy un-religious Christmas celebrations?

Get real!!!! One penguin here wants to serve her Majesty's government here!! Ishh...

______________________________________________________________

Another episode of my bf in a nutshell:-

Dar: Dear I want to buy cute lingerie...cos they have a great selection of stores there.
Nick: Sure, you'll get only disposable panties.

Should I get you a groin guard as well with your Christmas undies?

I smell freedom...

2006-12-11T08:53:00.000Z

... from the bureaucracy of education.....FINALLY!
Yoo-hoo!
But wait, I am not entirely happy as I have not obtained my results yet. Neither have I gone binding my stupid crap thesis together. But yay!! No more classes, no more prejudiced, low standard lecturers and shit! *prances about and waddles her penguin flippers* tee hee.
And so...right after exams, I exchanged hugs and words of wishes to all my friends who deserve it :D I am a lil sad to be apart from a handful, and I am pretty disappointed that I couldn't hang out with the ones I care..but anyway....we're going out...Wednesday....yeeeaaaaarrrrhhhh.......partay and paint the city of KL like neva b4. *grins sheepishly* But this is not the end really, who says I am combatting a fatal disease? Dang you people! We will grasp any chance of reunion whenever we're ready so..heck...stop your sappy-ness, and live life! :D *wonders about the sudden outburst of enthusiasm*
ok..ok...enough of jibberish..

I went for Casino Royale after exams with Anne, Jay, and Jack. Honestly, the Craig-ster grows on you! Ahh...the suave of the masculinity of an idealicious MI6 spy! Hubba Hubba baby!! *sings Craigelicious with the same tune as Fergielicious" *d to the e to the l i c i o u s to the d to the e.....*

Just sat around and bummed around like a dirtbag, sorting out my computer desk and my wardrobe as it has been a horrid mess. Kept me little Jade Buddha aunt perky and happy with my mischievious demeanours ;) Reason I called me aunt "Jade Buddha" cos she's so plump with a tummy bulge like the Laughing Buddha statue, along with the rebellious attitude like Jade from ANTM Cycle 6....hence the nickie.

Paul was down on a business trip here so I accompanied him for dinner at Bongsen. This Vietnamese treat is the shit man!

Today was a pretty long day too. To supplement my bank account before it runs dry, I took up a freelance post with a Golf Magazine, and I went to meet up with the ed in chief, Rajesh. And blimey!! Rajesh is supa dupa hawwwttt!!! To add spice and tang to our one-on-one meeting with him, my blouse unbuttoned itself, revealing my half cup Vanity Fair bra I bought on cheap sale last time I went to the US..and only to come to realization after the bloody meeting. How embarassing if not naughty. *slaps forehead in sheer disgrace* But it was good, nonetheless. After that we headed to Petaling Street and the heels I was wearing was causing the skin to break on both sides of my toes so I was dragging my reluctant arse in pain all the way when aunt just shopped for fake Rados and Longines. It wasnt pleasant at all. Blahr-dy hell!

After that its off to KLCC. Since I couldnt tahan the bloody pain, I went to Pedder Red to get a pair of Havaianas. Damn cute man! I was thinking of getting anotehr 3 more pairs but I damn kering already. So heck...just one la, to give me toes some room to breathe. Ish...

After that its makan time at Sushi King. Just whacked so many Sushis when the bill came it was up to RM50 just for me. And only after realising the damage my stomach started to bloat of sea weed and rice. Ish.. I felt so bad so I paid partially la. Kesian my aunt.

After that we went window shopping, and I went and got myself a pair of Skechers and Rockport. two shoes for less than rm 200. damn good deal innit?

I have such an urge to go shooop away at La Senza since I'm running out of yummy stuff, but hey I think I;ll get better offers in England, not to mention they have agent provocateur there * ah so provocative*

You know I'm like so super jakun (ashley's term, sorry I stole it!) I havent been to KLCC in so long I didnt realise they have opened an Everlast store and fuck....KAREN MILLEN @ KLCC!!!!!! I was so shocked my heart could beat a 1000 times per sec and then drop to zilch. I remember getting one damn expensive dress from there in England but they have reached Malaysian shores? Aren't I proud of being Malaysian? hee hee. * gulty grins*.

Today as I was walking around KLCC, I realised, that shopping in Malaysia actually kicks ass. There's so much to shop and its even better than in places in Australia and all.

I want the Ralph Lauren fragrances teddy bear for Cwist-mas! *pouts like a sulky baby* * hints* anyone saving up cash to get me an rm80 teddy? *squeaks* pweaaase.. :P

oklah thats about it for now. I hope everyone's having a fun time celebrating their near-there graduation...cos I'm kind of doing so....:P

x

First true love stays

2006-11-18T07:15:00.000Z

I just spoke to Sterling, and after speaking to him I sobbed my fucking arse off, and I couldn't believe I did that considering the fact I dumped him.

Why?

Cause he's got a new woman he's gonna be married to.

:`(

I told him nevertheless I'm happy and all and then I broke down uncontrollably and hung up on him.
You can't help but sometimes have a lil tinge of jealousy when your significant other moves on after a heartbreaking affair with you. I guess its true then, you dump someone, they cry hard, you cry harder eventually. I am honestly happy, but deep down in me, I;ve always got a soft spot for him. And I will always have, because the passion and love you've had for each other is still there. And it was our first true relationship so it was a bit hard to accept after 3 years since we've both moved on. He took longer to recover and now that he told me he's got a lovely woman to support him in eveything, I feel......lost..guilty...and above all, fucking bitchy. He still loves me, he told me. It was a terribly hard moment. I felt like hugging him again, but I am in no situation to rob his freedom away, anymore. I guess I'll just love him, and miss him, becauSE I know, we would never ever see each other again. I wish we could..

Iris by Gooo Goo Dolls is a love token by Sterling to me. Listening to it makes me sob like never before.

It was my frist true love, and I dont know who else I could confide to besides blogging about it. I can't tell Nick cause he would get upset although i know deep down that he cares about how I felt towards him(Sterling) and we've had our share of upsetting events lately, this would be the last thing to add salt to his wounds.

It's really hard but its time to gather myself and move on.

Listening to: Scorpinos - Here I am(for Sterling)

Happy birthday, to the friend I paling sayang in the course of 4 years

2006-11-15T07:56:00.000Z

That's you, Jasmine Lai! Many happy returns of the day! Me lurves you :)
Things may have changed, but I do feel the same way about our friendship. Through thick and thin we were there for each other. I wish that sometimes I could tolerate and not be so selfish to one another..and I do really wish, I could turn back time, to experience back what we've used to do..all the sneaky mischiefs we used to accomplish. Talking about the best times of my college-uni years. :) Blogging about it makes me so numb as a result of a thousand dosages of anaeathethics. :( I wish you all the best in EVERYTHING you do....and I'll miss you, and love you forever.

______________________________________

My bf in a nutshell:-

Dar: Dear, do you believe in karma?
Nick: Of course I do, is it that very aromatic herb to make beautiful curries?
Dar: NOOOOOOOO SILLY!!!! THAT'S KURMA...KARMA DEAR, KARMMMAAAA...LAW OF LIFE???
Nick: Ah........yeah..........

Firstly, you don't believe in food, you just eat it!
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Speaking of karma, I've got a story to tell. Well after hearing it I thought it was really creepy and the hidden superstition in me, I started believing it...

It's funny how both my mum's oldest brothers' wives are suffering from cancer at the same time, so one of my aunts actually went to see a Buddhist monk, explaining the prob. Having said the prob through and through, the monk asked if there are any family members who are/were drug addicts? There was, which was my deceased uncle. But my aunt lied and said a big NO. And she asked, why? And the Buddhist monk said, well if you had a drug addict in the family before, his oldest siblings was supposed to take care of him until his last breath, but they didnt. So the penalty for that is that their wives have to bear the brunt of his mishap as a drug addict(in the form of suffering incurable cancer), for not offering the support he needed at least as a human, and afterall you are his brother. You didnt help your dying brother, so you should feel the pain now. And my aunt was my uncle's life. sooo....there you go.

Arrogance does not get you anywhere. Be humble. Help EVERYONE you know who are in need. Respect your family....cos karma afterall is.........TRUE..

Cheerios xx

2006-11-11T14:27:00.000Z

Went to Zouk last night for the Pure Ibiza event and suffice to say that I do not want to ruin a good night out with crap.....go figure what the crap is.
Things have escalated to a point where I was pretty uncomfortable, but me being a former two-timing slut, I felt my skin has regenerated 500 layers more..what a load of barmy! No pics for that night (like I wanted to take any). For once I'm glad my sister took the camera with her for a function.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Its just those long days where I'll sob at anything that provokes melancholic sentiments (thinking about children in Africa, seeing people suffer in domestic violence, children without parents, curelty to animals, etc. ). It may come as a shock to the masses that I actually do think of how to make sufferers suffer to the minimal level. I always do, so deep down my harsh mentality and conscience so tough a cement truck cant bulldoze it, there is about 0.1% of soft spot in me for mankind, for humanity, for justice and peace. For the better of all.

________________________________________________________________________________

I've been battling out on alot of conflicts it's making me tired, sick, and above all , nonchalant. Sometimes I just want to make a resolution true - to devote my life for the spiritual land of Tibet, think celibacy, vegetarian to the core, dang. Some poeple find it pure, enjoyable, when your paths are sorted out well. The people like me, dwindling about in circles, not knowing what to achieve, tend to lose hard..and bad.

Scribbling connundrums of nothings doesnt help you but give you that moment - of escapism. Not being in reality. Its pretty cool :)

I'll keep scribbling..
And scribbling...
and scribbling...

She has no time..

2006-10-27T10:21:00.000+01:00

This song by Keane was taken from One Tree Hill Season 2, and it sparks an immense sadness whenever I listen to it. It basically is about how a girl wants to pursue her dreams and forgets where she comes from or who she belongs to, or committed to, or in love with. I also juat realised that Nick Lachey's I Can't hate you anymore is nothing but immense hurt and filled with "we could've..." notions. Its really sad. An addition to songs that make me sob is Muse's Blackout...its about death at a young age :(

To add more to this sad sad entry, I just watched Sepet and sobbed my fucken heart out, especially towards the end, when she finally reads the letter she so stupidly put one side. And when Ah Loong sobbed on his mother's lap...god I couldnt control my tears that time..why am I such a sucker for really emosh parts of songs/movies?

Sepet is one of the 3 movies I would cry and cry everytime I watch it.
First movie: About the purest friendship you can ever every get, even when death do physical seperation.
Second movie: Sepet, la!
Third movie: About the loss and regret you get when you're so pissed at what your family does to you sometimes, and when it's too late..you can't change the fact or bring it back.

But thank god I watched Sepet....I needed a really good cry.........:(

_______________________________________________________________________________

I have an outburst of mixed emotions as my degree course comes to an end. I dont know why i'm clouded in the thickest of anxiety, sorrow, sadness, and in the same time, the utmost happiness, joy, pride, etc.

As I sat and pondered in my peejays, my cup of camomile tea(fucking period cramps), and daisy, my precious token and a substitute of Nick(in a form of a sheep, i'm weird). How I long to be hugged and caressed and cuddled up again. (I cant believe i'm crying and writing this)Being with him was nothing but joy to me, sheer, endless joy, joy cut like the finest of diamonds.

* I miss sitting with him in the dark basement, always damp and cold, and we'd be cuddling and shivering at the same time, and how I'd get a double attack of goosebumps from him and from the cold weather.
* I miss just laying by the canal banks and looking at the blue sky during summer.
* I miss going for fajitas at the Trafford Centre and Chillis KLCC (right after we've just woken up from like what....a 6 hour nap?) LOL
* I miss pillow fighting with him
* I miss wonderful dinner parties with him, his friends and family
* I miss having a beach holiday with him (i've only been to two with him)
* I miss making dandelion chains while he makes a lil flower clip and sticking it on the mounds of hair right above my ear

I cant seem to possibly write everything down...but bottomline is...

I.WANT.TO.BE.THERE.

I.DO.

I.REALLY.REALLY.DO.

Why do I miss him so much? Its been a year and a half...

I'm going insane......
I feel like curling up to my pillow and dying....
Patient? To hell the patience! I've been patient enough!
Dad, why do you have to be so bloody harsh on him? Cos he's better than you in so many ways?????!!!!
Why doesn't he understand?
What is making him so coccooned to his fucking nutshell of emptiness?
Overprotective? You must be kidding me!!

How i long for his embraces? :|
I'm immobilised
I had to get substitutes from Daniel, I can't believe it :(
I'm torn.
My will is breaking into two.

I need him.

DEB, if you're going to England in December, can I follow you?

Diwali and others

2006-10-24T01:37:00.000+01:00

EID MUBARAK
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

to all Muslims
_________________________________________________________
My Diwali was so-so, partly because the stagnant progress of my thesis was killing me, but now I;m just 2 paragraphs away from completion. Not to mention, other tutorial preparations I have to start working on, and slides have to be submitted to Deb so she will compile it together.

About Diwali, yes, had my long, deserving jog (not that long, just 1 hour, actually). Rushed home, had a traditional oil bath, got myself clad in my green kutta top my sister bought from India (its really pretty), but it became more ketat than when I tried it the first time. Fuck the weight accumulation man! *sighs* Then it was off to dad's elder brother's place just 5 mins drive away from my place. It was mainly just a visit to my uncle's anyway, because its funny how they don't take Diwali so seriously. We had some panni puri, idli with some chicken kurma, and I'm telling you, this chicken kurma is the shit! Just talked to my aunt and uncle, cousin was off her way to work(on Diwali day)..life is tougher than you all think, huh? So we spent about an hour and a half there, partly cos my cousin has just adopted a 3 month old baby and we were waiting to see her. Such a lovely doll, name's Preethika :)

After that it was all the way to Bangsar, to my dad's oldest sister's place. We were treated to the best array of Indian dishes, and stepping into the house itself spark a feeling of heavenly aura, from the decor and the ambience, to the warm welcome and open arms my aunt has always showered us with. My cousins are wedding planners, interior designers, caterers and hair stylists, so what dya expect from them when you go over for a speacil occassion? Absolutely delectable, mouth watering food topped up with decors dying to be awed at. And it was true enough :) We had waaaaay too much to eat after my last bite, I was thinking on going for a week fasting without anything but water. My baju as usual, was at its breaking point, but thankfully it stayed intact without really obvious crevices. Here are some pics of the decors

After that, it was off to Kajang to my mum's oldest brother's place. By this time, I couldnt take anything more down my mouth but to wash it all down with some rather refreshing cocktails my cousin made. It was a weird concoction of vanilla, peel fresh, sprite, peach juice and beer. I added almost half a bottle of Bourbon to my drink, so I was at the end of the day, pretty wasted. But conscious, really, well aware of my surroundings, finally succumbing into the car for an hour on the way back home. Had Shelly, Kim, Carlos and Matt over for drinks and cookies at night. Got down to 2 bottles of Malibu, and what can I say? I'm rather satisfied....:D

The things Hollywood does to you...

2006-10-05T03:47:00.000+01:00

I've been reading The Devil Wears Prada currently, and you know how Andrea is so reluctant to answer Miranda's calls and give 2 shits about her menacing demenours?
I was feeling terribly sick and told Nick I need to sleep early, this doesn't give me much of a time to talk to him so I told him to buzz me at 1am. He did. I woke up when the phone drummed into my ears....and I had an "evil and commanding Miranda Priestly dream" that time. It went off and kept ringing for like a good 12 times, and I couldn't get myself to pick the phone up....with such an apparent thought it was MIRANDA PRIESTLY on the phone. So I didn't answer, he hung up...and that is when I got smacked into reality. It was Nick who called. Damn. So much for the waking up and the array of distraction that came along with it. And knowing him, he must've thought I fell asleep like a log...so I waited for him to give it another shot and I told myself I'm picking up this call and it was from Nicholas Rogers, not Miranda Priestly. He didn't.

For the past few days I've been tucking myself in very early, accompanied with uncomfotable notions that I may just depart anytime. Call me a sicko embedded and blinded in my wholesome paranoia, but the thought of my soul just departing without a single warning just seeps into my highly vulnerable temple. It's scary. I envision myself departing......going...going.......gone.......and..the next morning, mum and dad are sobbing their hearts out at my departure. Sometimes I feel like my time is coming soon. I don't intend to be death-obssessed but sometimes its just a feeling I can't hide. And I have an unspeakably horrible fear of death, at a young age. Probably the thoughts and possibilities of me dying early is haunting me at a very disturbing degree. And now, I try to make myself to not learn-driving-in-a-hearse or visit-JimMorrisson's-grave-every-weekday, cos you think absolute death at an early age, you get absolute death at an early age.

But really, I've been so sick as though I've suffered a neurologically vegetative state + Alzheimers + cerebral edema with a twisty metwork of nerves, bound to electrocute me literally. I;ve been entirely restless and so weak I can't bring myself to climb a flight of stairs easily, and the list goes on and on.

I think it is because, despite certain happiness I've gained, it doesn't mend and cure the deep loneliness inside...yes I am a very "Sendirian Berhad" person - like what my uncle said. I like my time to reflect and rejuvenate, but it's really gone to a bad extent that sometimes I don't even know myself. Like a soul withering away in a land of nothings, non-existants, isolation, etc. But the human heart and mind is never satisfied easily. It is up to how people combat or fight out their way to perfected happiness. But its just not me. Maybe now that I'm spiritually down that I've been attacked physically as well? I don't know, and for sure, who can tell? I've spoken to Liz and she says a soulmate is all I need. Right. I don't even know what a soulmate does anymore. I've claimed to have "found" the "soulmate" I've been looking for forever, but...really? Why am I still like that despite the help of a "soulmate"? Is it because I am seeking solace from the jolly good material side? *sighs*
I know what can feed my soul - bizarre, out-of-the-world experiences.
My eyes need to see something more than usual - afterall its the window to your soul.
Being stagnant doesnt help, I know, and so it works to other people too.
I just feel people do not have the time for me anymore - to sit down and chat up about things. I'm living in a "it's-all-about-them" world. I should be strong enough to accept that, but.......well i've made my drift. Its all a puzzle to be picture-perfected.

PHB

2006-10-01T00:46:00.000+01:00

I've found happiness after so long - through a holiday. And this is not just any other holiday. It's Phuket aka Heaven, and I've spent it with the best company imaginable (oh well besides Nick, but he can be a boring lil sod) and now i'm down with severe PHB (Post Holiday Blues - Nick coined the term for me) The tendency to just pack my bags and go for another holiday is soooo likely. Oh well, its just a tendency *sobs*

From cabaret shows, to the "cuci-mataing", to the food and sightseeing, to the beach, every moment was so enjoyable and meaningful to me and I could never ever thank anyone more for this happiness than Deborah, Jasmine, and Harwinder (oh and to a certain extent, the yummylicious guys, the Dr. Selva lookalike at the cabaret, and our tuk-tuk guy)

I hate harsh realities!!!! *SOBS*

2006-09-20T15:00:00.000+01:00

Thought I'd take a break from this overly depressing article I am doing for Cosmo UK. :(

I was watching "The Crow" the other day and I loved it. God, Brandon Lee is so god damn hooooot!!!! I wish he was alive to be notable in Hollywood more. If he was alive, he was to play Neo in The Matrix. And I personally think he makes a better Neo. It is sad really, he died pretty young, in a freak accident during the filming of "The Crow"..its so so so sad...the same way I felt when I watched Aaliyah's Rock the Boat :( It is pretty disturbing to watch something, which was actually the cause of death of that famous someone, the star of the show.

r.i.p

I knew he was such a good looking chap cos I knew when he died, but just realised he was SUPER DUPER good looking. :`( Why do good people die for nothing? :|

____________________________________________________________________________
Today was super screwed. It all started off with the financial drama.
I got my copywriting payment and decided to deposit it. And then came along my inevitable stupidity, I forgot to fill in the details and slip the check into the envelope and stick it into the depositors. I instead dunked my check right into it and I thought, thats it! Lost $$$$ just like that! But then the banker came to the rescue and told me to wait till after 2pm (this happened at 11:30am) And so I dillied- dallied and at 2pm i went to the bank, since they were gonna call me. So i waited for an extra hour thinking they would call me once the check is ready to be re-deposited. 3pm - straight went in and asked for my check. And they even had the nerves to tell me that it was done 45 mins ago and waited for me. Right, if only you called me I coulda done it quick and fast. Grrrrrr.........

It is partially my utter stupidity * kicks myself*

Quote of the day : Everything beautiful has some kind of pain before it becomes beautiful.
A current principle I should REALLY take into account...

Weird bod

2006-09-17T12:15:00.000+01:00

Imagine a "perfect" body of my face(oh well, after the extreme plastic surgery), Jasmine's torso, and Harwin's super-smooth-n-sexy legs?
I did it...

Coulda been nice but it just looks plain weird.
Haha. I'm eccentric.

_______________________________________________________________________________

My last day of this semester with the juniors

_______________________________________________________________________
MOH outting with sister

Me...

Me....

Sis....

Over n out x

Every cloud has a silver lining

2006-09-12T11:38:00.000+01:00

I had such a fucked up day I was wondering if ever I would get good luck in my life. Everything I do and accomplish seems to fail and flip upside down as planned. Its as if I am cursed to live such life. Why don't the wordly spirits just come and kill me?

After such a day...

Something cheered me up (but then, it was too late for anything.........)

see above....a postcard from Nick wishing me luck in everything I do and yet another confession of love hee hee.

I guess every cloud has a silver lining..

p/s: I am crap at placing pics in blogger so its all messy hee hee.

Listening to: Breaking Benjamin

Days when you don't need the human touch at all..

2006-09-09T08:04:00.000+01:00

I was watching Steve Irwin's (replay) documentary on his dog, Sui, and the death of his dog with him being by her side. I sobbed so much(ah...the emo attack is back) looking at all the times the dog has been around him till the day she died. The bond, indescribable in words, no human ever can get faithfulness from what a dog has.

At times, when I am down, I do not want to look at someone in the eyes and tell them how I feel, rather I prefer to sob it all off with a dog. I have yearned sooo much to have a dog, a companion that does not stab you in you back and get jealous of you, a companion who shows apparent happiness when you are back from work, a dog that anticipates to spend all her days and nights with you and only you. At rough times I'm having now, I wish a dog could hear my cry and cry with me, give me a lil nudge on my cheeks when I needed TLC and good laughter, wag her tail to show that he/she is happy to be around me. I want that - something extraordinary. I want a true friend amidst all the hidden sorrow I am bottling up. And whats ironic is the bloody homosapiens are against me to have that friend who would give me all I need on a bloody down day. I want to show my all................to just a dog who would brighten me up. I miss the companionship a pet has given me. Eyewitnesses will tell you how I brawled my all out on Pek Mei's shoulder when my super furry buddy fell prey to the evilness of the pussy-cat. I want to go home to that genuine companion, be able to sing and sleep to that tireless attention the dog is capable of giving. At least Nick has something to go back too everyday, I dont...

I really need you my friend.....I will get you when I'm together with him...

At least The Croc Hunter is in a better place with his dog again, reunited.

Listening to : Ultra

RIP Steve Irwin

2006-09-04T15:43:00.000+01:00

RIP Steve Irwin.
Gave me such a shock cos I was on time to get the news just 3 minutes after Queensland police force released the death statement.
You've showed iron-fist guts and heart-melting passion for what you have done to create such a hit that many have been riding your bandwagon.
I'm glad you "loved" me too - the penguin *rolls eyes* ;)
Anyway....
My deepest condolences to anyone and everyone who thinks this wonderful bloke has created an impact in their lives.
Damn stingrays....you are pretty lil creatures but dang..............nvm.
________________________________________________________

Managed to salvage loads of baguette from Bakers Cottage and ate it like theres no tomorrow.
Lazy to go through studying for the rest of the exams. *sigh*

Dang....

2006-08-26T10:13:00.000+01:00

Damn it!
I just watched this French movie, highly recommended by Jacques. Its called "Irreversible"
I think he recommnded it to me cos of the infamous rape scene with Monica Bellucci in it.
Fuck...
And to even have the nerve to recommend the show to me.
I almost puked when the guy raped Monica Bellucci anally
It was like a 20 mins visual torture...

Very disturbing

SO THE GEMBIRASSSS!!!!

2006-08-23T04:44:00.000+01:00

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME SUPPPPERRRRRR DUPPPERRRRRRR HAPPPPPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

BUT....

Sayangnyer, the people have an annual party in October in London, how to go? *sobs*
Nvm theres always next year and the future (hopefully)

Cardio FETISH!!

2006-08-21T09:06:00.000+01:00

I am battling a titanic dilemma right now - I feel like ripping my hair from its roots so bad that the rooftops can blow off by itself. I dont wish to blog about it - cos I think I asked for it, but it seems to benefit me adequately if I take any one of the myriad of choices I am bound to make, but damn if I take one, I'll feel a great pain if I ditch the other.

JAMIE KING ROCKS!!!
Dang imagine if I ever slept with the bloke, he'd be fuck-dancing with me. I have this collection of Jamie King's Nike Rockstar workout movement thing and god I love the Bollywood series. Its traditional in a very urban way. Although the traditional one stands out more feminine and authentic (the ones you see in Hindi movies), but I do love the eclectic mix of east and west. 1, 2 1 2 step..1, 2 12 step, 1,2 12 step........I wish I was a better dancer. The exhaustion from all the cardio is just part of the joy to achieve the achievement of all achievemnts throughout your womanhood. I wish I had a bod that could kill. *kicks herself for not having the discipline to maintain that from day 1* Dang I wish I had Kim Sharma's body(Bollywood actress). I mean, shes not overly athletic like the girls of PCD, but shes so petite I wish I had her torso. I mean shes soooo slim with some curves and shes got a big rack. I mean if I were to ever achieve that sorta bod, my boobs would be the first to be sacrificed *shammmeeeeee* :( That is why I wonder if all these workout would serve me for the better. I am working to a bod that could reveal me as someone decent with a bikini on. Dont wanna be like a fully blownup English woman broiling herself under the sun with a bad tan. Trying to achieve a-ok bod for my trip to Phuket, so my friends wont crack a joke everytime they see me in my bikini. :(

I think I am so motivated by Kim Sharma I am going for 3 hours of workout, taichi and yoga every morning and god this is better than a huge multi-orgasm!! Im cutting off the carbs - sayonara to rice (at least I'm pledging to save the paddy fields from being harvested for men all the time, but really, shoratge of consumption by 0.000000001% doesnt make any difference at all) and hope a miracle will happen come 25th sept.

ok Im gonna take a shower. I've danced way too much for the day. I guess this is what MTV does to you :P

Need more laughs?

2006-08-16T12:01:00.000+01:00

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it isbiology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?!!!!!!!!!!!!
A: The boy friend's hand.

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".

Weekends...

2006-08-12T03:35:00.000+01:00

I'm flattered. There's a highly reknowned newscaster from BBC by the name of "Darshini". And Nick says she looks like me (but to him all Indian girls look like me *sighs* I dont blame him cos he's just not very well exposed to people who are non-whites.) But yes he was right, exactly like a photostate copy. But her English accent is oh so accentuating. I think I'll never get near her in the next 200 years. Trust me, I'm THAT bad.

Switched on the tv for the morning only to find Paris Hilton disgustingly rubbing her twig-like body on men who are getting uneccesary hardons. Oh for Paris Hilton? Gimme a break man!

I was watching Travel & Living on catatombs worldwide. And I am amazed at how people actually take the bones of the dead to create sculptures of a church - with bones. Even the chandeliers are made of human bones. Very impressive. Like that underground catatomb in Paris, its all decorated so immaculately with human skull. I'll probably faint from such a weak heart after seeing an array of dandy human skulls as church sculptures. But it'll be such a wonderful chance if I got to see things as such right?

Besides being able to witness the safari as long as I'm living theres one more thing I'd like to experience at least once ion my life - seeing pandas in China. And I'm planning to do so with one person I absolutely adore even till today from utar - jasmine. Right now we lack the cash la but when we work and when I come back home we'll definitely go. Must make it happen :)

Ok I have loads of catching up with studies to do but I'm so frigging lazy I dont know why. I think I should bury myself in the books again, or I'll miss out a great deal of everything.

Todelous! Have a great weekend :)

Listening to : bananarama

Simple and Enjoyable weekends are the best!

2006-08-06T11:11:00.000+01:00

I just got home from a wonderful weekend with Anne and her family in Ipoh.
We took the bus from Kelana Jaya at about 12pm Friday and the journey took us a painful 3 hours(should be only about 2 1/2 hours), thanks to the grumbling and "smokey" bus driver - he makes his own pot! and the bus was smelly with unpleasant smokiness. Gross. So we just munched on Lays and scribbled nothings in our notebooks - basically on how to kill the Crucified Penguin (now, now dont get me started on who this asshole is)
We finally reached Ipoh bus stand and Anne's older brother, John was waiting for us. I think he is quite hot, and you never hear me complimenting on Indian guys, so yes with his rugged demeanors and the sunnies...oooh la la. And he speaks Russian! :P:P But hey I cant be dating Anne's brother right? I've got a ring snugly attached to my finger :9 So we reached Anne's place and its set on a beautiful garden and who can ever forget Anne's ever friendly Spitz, Millie? She is soooo friendly she gave me a welcome pounce and lick when I arrived, and subsequentially pounced on me like a gazillion times with vigorous tail-wagging. Nice welcome that was. I stepped in and Anne's youngest brother, Daniel was sat at the PC, and if I think John was hot, Daniel was wayyyyyyyyy hotter!!! God, for a chap younger than I am, and with his macho built and a fist all men could die for, *sticks tongue out like a hungry dog* But I cant be fetishing on Anne's brothers of all people, cos she knows how Nick and I are so clooooose! :) Ok, he speaks Russian like his older brother and his Joe Satriani collection - oooohh....an ideal woman's man but age factor and biological ties factor. *sobs* So he greeted me but you can tell he is really shy when Anne brings any of her female friends back, but if they look like shit he wont give a shit but I loom ok innit? I cant beleive im speaking out of sheer vanity! kekekeke.
After that anne showed me all around her house and we were already greeted with a wholesome lunch. We ate so much and I knew this weekend wouldnt be a good sign for my tummy. We watchd tv then left for Kinta City to watch the american haunting. Was a lil disaapointing to me, we coulda watched the Lake House or Dragon Tiger Gate, oh well, whats done is done right? The we just walked around and stepped into Nose and Vincci, cos yes my retail therapy is not over! hehe. saw a few cute, itching-to-be-worn flats but my size wasnt available so I didnt get any. Stepped into Esprit and walked around to fish for some boho skirts and denim ones, but Esprit is just full of bullshit fashion, but I couldnt resist walking out of Esprit empty handed so I got myself a pair of flip flops. Cute ones and a good price to pay.
We left Kinta City and went for dinner. I had curry mee, penang koay teow, rojak, satay, si ham and lala and a glass of chinese tea and sugarcane water. and my stomach was wailing and begging for me to stop working it. And I felt soo nauseated after that. It was good stuff but I couldnt take so much of food at one time so we packed the rojak leftovers and headed back to watch Black Hawk Down and eat them up. Felt so sleepy after that and then I went to bed. But I felt so scared to close my eyes so I had a rather disturbed sleep. Cant help but to hink of Jean's room (Anne's sister) as a scary nightmare. So I left the lights on and the ceiling fan kept ticking so voilently as if the screw was loose and the fan was about to hit me right on my face and there goes my life. So I tossed and turned and I refused to look at the mirror at 3am cos im just so fucking superstitious like my mother? *sighs* I woke up every god damn hour only to hear the fan ticking so damn loud so I felt so nauseated cos of the disturbed sleep so I switched off the fan and slept without any fan. Bah. Adn during those times i salvaged a couple of hours sleep before I decided to just get up for good. bleh.
Saturday morning was spent at Chinese eatery with Anne and her mother for chee cheong fan(with so much of chilli my earholes were smoking. nonetheless it was smooth and just mint, the best chee cheong fan ive ever tried), Ipoh white coffee which was good, popiah was awesome, had pan mee for main dish. My stomach was literally dead from strenous food processing, my liver felt the pain of the stomach. Reached home and rested for a while before we headed to Teluk Batik to soak up the sun - fully clad in contemporary clothes, no bikinis, no suntan lotion, no cocktails. hehe. Daniel drove us up to Teluk Batik and Anne's dad bought us some bread with ice cream which was nice, Daniel brought some Ukrainian liquor chocolates and ended up indulging in that as though theres no tomorrow, and Anne;s mum bought some chempedak for us to munch on the beach then we just sat on the damp sand, felt the waves crashing to our tiresome feet, the breeze was superbly soul-taking, and just chilled, it helped by taking away 70% of the stress I have accumulated. Then we climbed on the rocks and felt the waves crash to it and it felt nice to get soaked that way. The view was wonderful up there. Then we started collecting sea shells drenched on teh shore and carving hateful phrases on the sand of all the fuckers who made our Utar life shitty like "Fuck you Dr Pahang motherfucker Yzma", "See you in Hell Manikam biatch", "We Hate you Thinavan asshole" etc. Such fun. The we ran across the wave-crashes and felt so good just sprinkling water at one another. Frolicking with the waves under such sunshine is very very very therapeutic. Snapped some pics(will be up in lj as I need the "Blogspot for Dummies" book) and then headed off to a convent in Sitiawan to visit one of Anne's mother's friend who is a nun who broke her leg several weeks ago. We were served with bread pudding, shortbread, and guava juice and that was one heck of a tea treat. She gave me a rosary(yet to be blessed, Will go to the Lady of Lourdes in Klang to get it blessed, how sweet of the lady, and she was doing it for us with a broken leg and waiting for us) and some stickers of phrases from teh Bible to inspire me as I go on with life. She intially thought I was Daniel's gf before Anne introduced me as her friend. We both didnt know where to put our faces at when she said it lol. I mean, despite the superficiality we are living in there are still people whos purity has not been tarnished, and I really want to be around these people and no more fake people around me, I could be a nun but I'm not even a Christian. Such simplicity. I adore them more than even the CEO of Oracle. I still am thinking of yesterday's visit there. We headed back to Ipoh to fetch John from home and we had some Indian food for dinner. Came back and watched the mummy returns before heading to bed and I had a good sleep this time around cos Anne's mum fixed a table fan by my side of the bed.
Woke up around 7:30am by the clucking sounds a gecko makes and by God I am still so afraid of these dastardly creatures. So I waited till Anne's mum was around and asked her to inspect the bathroom for me for these domestic martyrs but there wasnt any or they coulda runaway so I wasted time again! Bah. So I had a quick bath and accompanied Anne and her parents for mass. This is the first time I;ve attended a catholic church mass, the last time I went to catholic church was when I went there with rona on a normal weekday to listen to the gregorian hymns in england that was, so eons ago were talking about. Just sat there and felt a lil awkward cos everyone was sayign prayers and i mumbled and fumbled hehehe. :P But it was a good experience. we went for breakfast before packing up to leave Ipoh for KL. Played with Millie and kissed her goodbye. Hugged and kissed anne's parents too for being such wonderful hosts and making my weekend a truly satisfying one. I thank my parents above all for letting me be with Anne.
Reached asia jaya and got myself some malibu dream from coffee bean then got on the bus to klang, to tell my parents about the simple yet a truly exciitng weekend I had

Once again, pics up in LJ
Hope you guys had a worthwhile weekend cos i didnt only enjoy it, I learnt so much in life during the course of 2 days with Anne and her family.

Jogging that stresses you out!

2006-08-02T12:30:00.000+01:00

When people attempt to go for a jog, it is meant to be a peaceful, tranquil and healthy attempt. Not to me! i'll tell you why.

Firstly, the moment you step into the jogging park, looking so tranquil with shady verdant gardens and trees and serene ponds, and you just feel like closing your eyes and feel the breeze over your skin, and the bliss is interrupted by screaming and wailing children when they fall down and all. Trust me, I lvoe children, but you dont bring your 1 year old and force him/her to walk and when he/she falls down they cry worse than a broken record. Damn. So much for finding peace and keeping focus.

Secondly, the paths are so tiny and there are two paths (one is meant for cancer patients to do their exercise, and they dont take up the whole path) so why dont people just go to the otehr path(well dont overcrowd it) and do your shit without clogging the whole path. The most annoying group of people who do that are fat Indian middle-aged blokes talking business in the middle of the jogging park. Youll never have any idea of the fuming emotions inside me when I see these oversized, shiny-bald head blokes clogging the paths. Guess what pals, go get more wax and put on your shiny head to clog your brains more so you cant fuckign think?? Fuckinhg assholes, we are here to keep fit not to keep fat and act all verbal. No sense of being private I suppose!

Thirdly, when you are jogging in a linera motion only to be interrupted by a 1 foot tall kid running all over and refusing to give way to people who are jogging. And they give you such sulky faces you feel like lifting the kid and flocking it in the pond with the tortoises and the fishes! Damn kids, you people are darlings but when you throw tantrums you are nothing but a firct class, sealed pain in teh ass! GIVE FUCKING WAY! Parnets are so nonchalant about all these. Goes to show how much parents give a shit about their kids.

Fourthly, you get mamak stalls opening in tne midst of A JOGGING PARK! Hello! How more annoying this could be.

Fifth, you are enjoying your jog and you love the atmosphere around you, not when a fucking idiot suddenly does a gurgling sound and you find his phlegm on the road the next time. Damn! Such uncivility!! urrrgggghhhhhh!!! you fucking gross men and women!!!! I tnink seeing the body of a cat run over by a truck with its intenstines and gall bladder detached from its body, head severed is more decent than your fucking phlegm

Sixth, The overly commercial park now. When I came here forst like 7 years ago it was so peaceful and wonderful to be at, but now. Its like a funfair, Not fun!!

OK I've had enough of ranting

Bye

Listening to : The Fray

RANTS!!!

2006-07-31T10:23:00.000+01:00

What a way to start my week

6am - Woke up and yet again hurt the eyelids from vigorous eye-rubbing, feeling very BLAH!
6:30am - Left home for uni
7am - Got to hear that 11 people killed in a bus from Ipoh-Bkt Mertajam for St Annes. Cant help but to feel worried for Anne cos she went for the festival and she's from Ipoh. Panicked till I couldnt even pick up the phone to ring her to check if she was alright. I guess I just suck as acting during emergencies.
7:45am - Went to mamak stall, sulking to my self cos I had to get up soooo early on a rainy Monday morning. What made me happy was that ubiquitous nasi lemak, devoured it happily, and complemented well with my milo panas. The best antidote for Monday blues.
8:20am - Went to the library to surf the internet, only to find Kuan Mei sitting in the library and saying there Pauline's 11am tutes are cancelled. gerrrrraaaammmmm-ness to the core that time! All the way when a class I anticipate on a monday morning is being cancelled? Way too much for me to bear. fine...fine....*keeps on surfing the net*
11ish am - Got bored of internet surfing and was about to go to the mamak until I bumped into Deb and Bebe so Deb and I went to the cafeteria. Talked and ate brucnh till like 12:15pm
12:20pm - Waited for Tute 1's class under Yzma to be over. Saw Anne and I was soooo relieved I couldnt even breathe that moment. Asked Anne about whats that all about - the accident and people dying. Makes me sad.
12:30pm - Stupid tutorial commenced. Got back our midterms. Congrats Darshini, YOU FAILED!!! Not only that, had a personal chat with the old fag on what apparently happened on that "fatal" day - never felt worse!! All went to deaf ears cos I couldnt give a rat's arse about her, really. I just want a 50% for my finals and a big C
2:10pm - Waited for Johan's call. Stupid son of a bitch, did not reply me so fuck it, I;m going home, I coulne be arsed for not waiting for your damn call!
3pm - Reached Klang - only having to wait for another fucking hour for the domestic bus to come, it did not come, I couldnt be bothered waiting cos I am definitely reaching my breaking point so I took the route nearest to my home and walked all the way
4pm - Reached home, glad to see my mum and talk to Nick.
5pm - Blasted some Tool and Slipknot music whilst sipping on my Martini + coke concoction, with a "FUCK EVERYONE" mood.

I'M GONNA SO NEED THAT RETAIL THERAPY - TOMORROW!

p/s: Girls, pls do not cancel the Singapore trip. I need to get away as much! Thanks. Muaks!

Over and out

Listening to: Panic! At the disco

Wants and to-do

2006-07-25T11:17:00.000+01:00

To do:-

Damn Yzma's advanced comm theories shitty assignment
Buy sunblock lotion, a new pair of sunnies, flip flops
Brochure and articles for the Star - on golf *yucks*
Keep praying that I dont get barred for Comm Tech *sighs*

Desires (and will try her best to accomplish it by 2006):-

Redang
Singapore with UTARian wackos
Koh Samui
Cambodia (most likely NOT but its OK)
Manchester (this is definitely a must, but we'll see. You know my luck)

I feel fucked, hence the listings of what I wanna accomplish

Have a wonderful one

Updates, baby!

2006-07-21T02:01:00.000+01:00

My mum is so funny. It's 8:58am and a mail for me came by courier. Mum was so unpleasantly excited cos she thought a big paycheck for my copywriting work has just came in for me. She happily let down her signature and her ic number and stuff. And mum alerted me in such a tone I became unpleasantly excited as well. Turns out to be some friggin travel brochure when I ripped the package open. I was thinking that i'd be receiving my long lost Victoria's Secret package which I have no idea of its whereabouts...the mysterious and jolly things that happen in your life, in the early mornings. Not to mention, my mum now has waken me up TOTALLY! hehe.

Plans for today, aunt from Australia came down and its her birthday today so we are going over to my uncle's house in Ampang for a family celebration. Not a biggie. I am currently waiting for a call from Saujana for a freelance writing project briefing. Other than that, it will be a day where I feel the warm waters of my own made aromatherapy bath dapple untaintedly on my tiresome feet...oh oh....as well as working on my Organisational Communication assignment *sighs*

I need my friggin paycheck. As the year comes to an end, I've listed down a few things I'd like to do before I leave for the good ol English-land. First things first would be a new range of skincare products cos my face is dry and lacklustre. No wonder I always look so dull like a daylight fog, faint and lifeless. Not to mention the zillions of pimple scars on my face. No-no! The skin needs a break like me lol. I need a part time/weekend job and probably write more food reviews for Expatriate Lifestyle. Bah. No moo-lah :( The holidays I want to go and the gadgets I need when I'm in England, I wont have anymore cash then in my bank! Help!

I'm looking forward to spending quality weekend with my friends at UTAR and we are going to the LION CITY!! *rawr rawr* I hope it doesnt get cancelled or i'd be very disappointed.

Theres just so many many many things to do in the future. I cant wait to splurge the $$$ for all!
Whats sad is that i always dont have the company :( I really wish I had someone I could count on to travel and stuff. Makes me so sad

ok, I'm babysitting Patmesh now so I better get going with that

Have a wicked one!

xx

French Nipples..

2006-06-25T12:07:00.000+01:00

Whats with me and nipples really?

Last week during our French Class, the seminar room gets really chilly. So there's this girl, familiar by sight but unfamiliar by identity, got this really hard nipples it obscenely sticks out, causing alot of "attention" there. Anne and I came up with a pathetic conclusion that she got a hardon learning French. Meh.

During the Guinness party, I wore this top where 3/4 of my rack was sticking out, wobbling about esp when i shake the area while dancing. Crisci calls it erotic and then she asked:-
Crisci: Arent you wearing a bra?
Dar: How am i supposed to be wearing a bra with a top this sexy?
Crisci: Didnt you sew pads on it?
Dar: No
Crisci: Then where are your nipples?

Does she really want to see my nipples? sheeeeesh...

Not to mention I downed 4 slippery nipples and the most of all the shots I had during my night out with anne.

What a nipply week.

Clubbing Invitation

2006-06-18T11:59:00.000+01:00

OK, 2 parties I cant wait to go. Even if I dont have company, I dont mind going alone, but hey, the more the merrier!
1) Guinness Code Black Evolution Party (this Friday, 8pm onwards, Ruums, can wear anything I suppose) My LJ has more stuff about this party in detail.
2) Juice's 8th Birthday Bash (8th july, 10pm-3am, Ruums, wear a hat and bring a banana - a banana themed party)

Comment me if ya wanna go!

_____________________________________________________

Quite a packed weekend(not exactly coming to think of it). Thursday was a rough night watching Anne cry over her shattered pieces. But dinner in Chillis Mid Valley was awesome with Anne. Watched football, downed cocktail after cocktail (oh that was me) - more like drank till i drop! Went to bed early, cos there wasnt any point staying up late right when there's no fun anymore? So much for the Trinidad-England match.

Friday, woke up, consoled Anne who is in shock and disbelief. Then left for MidValley(yet again, god I hate that place so much but Anne likes it so why not go for her sake at her roughest times?) Dined at Secret Recipes. A wholesome chocolate cake did its wonders by drowning all your sad reality..temporarily. Talked and yakked like grannies parted for 10 years. Wacthed "Benchwarmers" - had a GREAT laugh in such a long time. Funny me, I'm a fan of extremely sensible and smart humour but also am a huge fan of stupidly hilarious humour. Explains alot about me - smart and stupid. The latter applicable at most times. Then I sent Anne back in the taxi home and I went to the Sports Bar next to Secret Recipe and had 3 bottles of Heineken (as you can see, the money is going as well! :() should really save up! Watched replays of the nights matches with almost no one in the pub. So I was bored as anything, and there was this Ozzie who was sitting across me, giving me the eye, so I politely asked him if I could sit with him and he welcomed me. Quite an interesting chap. From Melbourne but moved to Hobart, here for business. Talked about Australia, Malaysia, football, and the current news in teh world! How odd for a stranger lol. Left with a peck on my cheeks, a firm handshake and "Hope to catch ya around sometime", with an absolutely fit charm and grinned dimples. What a day!

Went back swarmed up! Jasmine and Deb both cancelled their plans, which I could say I;m rather disappointed with but maybe they have other reasons to cancel it so why should I jump into conclusions?

Went for a dinner at Mandarin Oriental last night. Had loads of wine and still cant cheer me up. Dinner was delectable. Love my foie gras.

Today, ah, woke up and went for my usual jogging(and I'm still fat, talking about absolute stubbornness) and then got ready to go to KLCC to meet up with Esther. Reached there and went to Dome for a set breakfast and nice hot chocolate :) Talked like grannies again, Its fun catching up for lost times. And I've always been fond of Esther for her willingness to do just about anything to accomplish success, and shes a hard worker and a playmaker. Love her spirit to evolve to succeed. And then she had to balike awal, and I walked around KLCC all by myselfand became bored cos of the crowd and all. And my leg started to hurt cos of my sandals(I;ve the worst luck with sandals and walking with them on) so I went to Chillis for a beer, But it was lunchtime and everyone was queueing up like prisoners at Guantanamo Bay waiting for their deaths! Heck, so my next stop was Chinoz. Went there and downed 3 Mojitos and 2 Chivas Royale within 2 hours. Call me a mad bitch, but I needed it that time. Its all about getting what you want there and then and being happy about it. But i didnt, thinking about how irresponsible I was with my money :( oh well. I'll never go randomly like that next time. haha. as if...

A lil high cos of the demand for extra spirits to make my cocktails "stronger", I managed to travel home safely, in a piece, unraped, and whatever...what a feat!

Now I'm workin on my tutorials, just to be a lil responsible next time.

Moral of this entry: Be responsible, no matter how much you need to uplift your obligations in life.

Laws of attraction

2006-06-13T11:20:00.000+01:00

Sterling gave me this very inspiring video on freedom, laws of attraction and more. Enjoy, and feel free to debate about it in the comments section

Cheers

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8958231188734018006&q=THE+SECRET

xx

Regrets in Life...

2006-06-09T07:26:00.000+01:00

There are just some things in life that won't change, when people decide to not change it for themselves and for you, even when it only brings out benefits and nothing else.
I was devastated really at one day, when Jasmine wanted me to join her group for our Organizational Communication group assignment. And then, Kuan Mei was telling me over that there would be a meeting at 1pm whatsoever. And then this happens..

Simpson: Huh? She is joining our group? *with a disgusted reaction*
Kuan Mei: Oh yeah lor yeah lor...*more disgust*

How would you feel if you were there and this happened? This is what I really call rejection. When people lament about them being rejected in their love lives, the degradation isnt to an intense degree, it is because there is room for change and there would always be someone better as you go along. It is similar to the contextual friends..but somehow or rather there is a difference. You can live without a lover, but if you don't have friends, your life is basically of shatters, because you cry and die, laugh and live with them, and its not that I've not been friends with them since forever. The rejection was so intense, and this was only the beginning. I can't imagine working with them throughout the whole semester. If it is because of past incidences that shattered their trust for me, I don't mind, but treat someone with equal respect when they have repented from what they've done wrong. People have a choice on what they want to do in live, but conscience enriches the fact that others matter to you as well. I guess they lack that...oh well, I'll take on Hazel's advice to "accept people for who they are, nobody can change them but themselves, it takes alot for them to realise that, you're mature, so just accept it"

On a lighter note...

I've got my exam results. I expected it to be slightly better, otherwise I'm happy, as long as I remain a second upper class grad I'm more than thankful. I could not be bothered, because the experiences you gain out there matters most, and I've got ample, and still working on it :) Unless someone is planning to receive a scholarship and what not, then thats a totally different story. But I;ve got my plans sorted out(although sometimes plans dont work out the way you want to) and we'll see what happens.

French class was awesome, Anne and I were just laughing at each other, but I had an extra advantage over others, thanks to the effortful me (:)) of going through online tutorials to pick up the pronounciation and what not. And I bumped into Audrey. Audrey's this hot oriental babe, junior of mine, and she knows me friends back in high school. She is a bar dancer in Rum Jungle, and god knows what her $$ is like there per night. But shes totally cool. And met her during our French lessons. Stayed over at Anne's too bad there were no alky's around, so I went to bed early, Anne and I crammed up till the next morning, in a single bed :P Reminds me of the stuff I did with Jasmine in her room in TARC, me punhed her eyes and looked like a devil. :P

I bumped into Daniel just now when I was coming back from Bangsar and he's performing at Nouvo next weekend, so for a change, I need to dress up, make up, move up and meet new people. I'm so fed up of stagnantly staying at home not being able to accomplish anything lol.

My friends at ISKL always tease me:-
Kane: Your blog entries suck all the time, I wonder how can you be a copywriter and get paid so damn well.
Thanks, Kane, how relieving! :)

I am so addicted to this song from the "Teaching Mrs Tingle" OST. Thanks Mandy, title is Radford - Fall at Your Feet. LOve it! Guys, try downloading it its an awesome track.

Thats all for now peeps, have a wicked one

xx

p/s: I didnt know Samaire Armstrong aka Anna from the O.C. was the girl is Hansons' Penny and Me video and Daniel Powter's Bad day. Wow. No wonder the girl looked familiar when I watched the O.C. She's pretty cute innit? Shes got an upcoming movie where she stars alongside Frankie Muniz

Stressing over what is useless unless you acquire that interest!

2006-06-08T01:47:00.001+01:00

Referring to the topic of the day on the Mix.fm's Breakfast Show with regards to "rules important to women during the World Cup", I would liek to express how distressful and disgraceful women can be..
Firstly, some bimbo plagiarised contents from the Sunday Sun paper to be in the limelight saying the rules are her own effort and work..and then the rules are just plain dumb. Why try so hard to fit in when you can and always learn about football, and not only when the World Cup is around, and firstly, its not like you fucking udnerstand the game. You know David Beckham, but what position does he play in the English team? Just because David Beckham is a celebrity, not footballer, doesnt mean you have to crown him the best player in the world, and blah blah blah. I doubt many people even realise that. He's not longer a footballer...

Undoubtedly Brazil is the best team in the world, but what if they are out of luck and lose out, and whoever the other winners of this World Cup are besides Brazil are the next-in-line to be favoured by these stupidly inclined women..

So women out there, shut up and get on with your live and oh, women rights dont need to spill over to this extend! Go grab a book and read cos its more worthwhile than watching "a game where 22 idiots are on the field just by chasing after one ball in the field"
If you so gave football that impression, then why fucking bother to watch it? Just to be able to fit in? Damn get a fucking life!!

This entry is typed with an immense distress call! How stupid and lame women can be. Malaysian women, yes, in situations like this, ca be really dumb...to fit in well is to have to confidence to know about something, and not when a special occassion arises and then you take 3 steps ahead of others trying so hard to fit in! Lame arseholes, god I cant believe it.
I;ve grown up watching football and understanding the game, and women oh women...you have to know tactics and strategies and terms before getting into teh conversation and the duration of the World Cup would not be enough to fit you to the bill.

xx

Evil vs Good

2006-06-03T07:06:00.000+01:00

I really don't know what's up with my attitude lately regrading my dietary needs but I tend to contradict myself when I impose a resolution to not consune anything with high calories, sugar, salt, and more, and I really mean...high....as high as Everest..
But....
As I open the fridge to fill my rumbling tummy with something light and healthy, like beetroots or a diet bar, I tend to eye on the chocolate bars still stocked up from the day mum returned from England, and the absolutely fattening, juicy, sinful MisterChoc Caramel Bar...from England too. I can be the sole penetrator the evil vibes the chocolates possess. The Satan of the discerning culinery junkies out there. Sugar = Satan; Fat = Devil..But no...I still chose to leave beetoot in the shadow of darkness, and take on the very evil side.
It is just like McDs, why ppl yearn for the junks and not the healthy stuff when it can be as indulgent as the mouth watering stuff. Mum once reitearted that what you eat says alot about who you are....so....does that make me evil, nasty, mean, cruel? I guess so...

More self contradiction...
Its funny that the more I watch Shakira's Hips dont Lie, gyrating and shimmying to physical perfection, while I munch and munch intensely, shutting off the consequences I may bear.
So...should I be dancing or eating?
Tough calls to make....

A good laugh is always the key to keep me sane. Done that with My Wife & Kids and Yes dear. b2b :D

Too darned lazy to work on my friggin thesis. I pointed out some jibberish, unorganised facts but have yet to gather my thoughts to systematically arrange my facts. Who gives a rat's arse?

xx

Firsties

2006-05-24T10:00:00.000+01:00

Hey all!
I am back to school! Yipppeeerrrooosss!!! And this time, I really am happy!!
Got to see most of my friends - Deb, Jasmine, Bebe, Anne, Crisci, etc etc. Shame Yen wasnt around.
Had lunch with Anne, Deb, Bebe and Mun Wai. I guess I laughed more than I talk. I'm really glad to see all of them. Sharon and the subject she teaches are interesting, but not as "interesting" as Kumutham. Kumu seems a lil funny to me, for some reason. Oh well, I hope it will be a great semester ahead...
Have 2 classes tomorrow and then its off to Ikano to meet up with Judy, dinner and maybe a dip in her private swimming pool. And also, to grab that birthday present from her! hahaha! :P
Going to Cameron Highlands for the long weekend, with me parents. Will be boring and fun in the same time, looking at the fact I havent been to camerons since I was 5. lol
Sunday, may be meeting up with Arina, May, Dee and Hazel for Redbox and bar-hopping session.Cos week 2 signals the seriousness and being focused in my studies, and the thesis which I will never ever ever neglect again!
I have loads of plans coming up this semester. It will be fun. And also, I was telling my friends how much I wish to know my exact departure moment from Earth, so that I will be able to enjoy my life as much as I want to before leaving. My friends told me I'm just nothing but a plain source of paranoia and to stop beiong bothered about my death. I mean its worth spending your time thinking about how to cherish your life, then waiting for your death. Much that I am afraid to admit it, but I AM AFRAID OF DEATH. My death! :( Oh well...

Encore Presentation: Mimicking of Reactions from Ralph Fiennes when he receives a movie script.(Part1: The Constant Gardener)
Presented by Anne & I

"....mmmmm......oh absolutely gorgeous scene...I love that "show" I'd have to do with Rachel Weisz..."
-...Reads Through the script attentively.....
.
.
.
.
.
.

"mmmmm.....ooohhh....I love what I have to do..unhooking her bra is always the sweetest thing I have to do....I can't wait, Fernando. Thank you..
.
.
.
.
OOOOOHHH....very sexy...mmmm...this will make my libido stronger after the catastrohpic split with Francesca..thank you,Fernando...You've been very kind to cast me for this sexy role....

-Ze End-

......gotta do some research right now

Cheers

Damn it!!

2006-05-22T05:48:00.000+01:00

I really hate it when you go to college, only to find out that there are no classes. Firstly I blame UTAR for being the fuck university it has always been, and then to my friends. They said they dont know anything about timetables whatesoever, and when you go there, NONE of your classmates are there. I couldnt be bothered, but I am coming from Klang, by public transportation, and at least if you told me earlier, I would've gone into work and earn and extra RM100. For gods sake, next time if they really need my help, fuck them, I couldnt be bothered helping them! And everyones got the balls to call me Ms Negativity! Hello, I go to college with a positive mindset, and shit like that really pisses you off! Its not that I'm staying across uni. Oh well fuck that, a rant to make me feel better!

I have been a pathetic movie buff, watchign shit like Poseidon and Da Vinci Code in the cinemas ALONE. haha. I think sometimes its just better doing some things alone, rather than having 5 -6 friends with you, and not being able to enjoy anything cause of another bitchfight bound to happen. The movies are worth a watch.

I bumped into Ms Sheila in 1 U the other day. I wish I didnt have the movie to watch, cos its just so fun talking to her again. Poor lady have been depressed lately, and I felt good consling her a little and stuff. I emphatise alot to people, but sometimes when they sare too sad, its btter to give a therapeutic silence, showing them that you care, instead of pinpointing mistakes they ahve done to make them depressed. Thats what I did when I was consoling Yen Yen for the shit in her life, and I felt like an absolute idiot after that! Grrrr...I can be that pest!

I think thats all for now, see u my classmates, on Wednesday (if anyone of them bothers reading this junk)

xx

Short post for now...

2006-05-08T12:21:00.000+01:00

I haven't been blogging much, because I'm freaking lazy for one, and my PC is freaking slow, and since I got my PC reformatted I've lost a great deal of songs, and just been spending time downloading them again, and also working on my Literature Review for thesis. Very shitty task, but I must arse myself if I don't work on it immediately.

Holidays are fine, have been helping mum babysitting my cousin's 2 month old baby. Cute bugger, but wait...he's too cheeky to be true! He pretends to choke on his milk and when we pat his back, he laughs, mischieviously. Photos of him in my LJ! Nick said it's be valuable motherhood lesson for me! Riiiiighhhht!!!

After 2 weeks of rotting in my home-sweet-home with nasty baby, I've found a job, temporary PR assistant for Michael de Kretser. It was my first day today, and I don't know if its just me or what, that I have lost my self confidence and composure when facing new challenges. I was shaking when I shook hands with Michael.. Very detrimental to my self-esteem...*changes into Ms Confidence...I have to* Oh well, my first day was really enjoyable, and they are paying me so damn well!! Unlike my Expatriate Lifestyle tenure...I felt like a cheap labour.

Lotsa catching up to do - I think I will go out with Pek Mei tomorrow. I've promised her it'll be today, but I had to go to work..my old school friends - Arina, Chris, Thava, the list goes on and on and on...

I'm turning 21 this weekend, but I somehow feel totally numb about being 21..I have known people who are so damned excited cos they think they are free to do whatsoever, but I wont be..so...yeah numbness prevails this Sunday.

I think thats all for now ok? I hope everyone are having fun with their holidays. I am...

Love ya'll all in bunches ;)

xx

My New Form of Procrastination

2005-08-07T00:40:00.000+01:00

To avoid confusion to others, and also to not contaminate my previous blogs at LJ, I chose to take my procrastination one step further to another blog account. This account will only be authorized access to a handful of people and suspicious souls can forget keeping track of my journey in this third dimension.

Nothing much to blog for now, having a lazy weekend right now, that's for sure.

As for work, it is getting more frustrating as now my colleagues are beginning to throw me at the deep end and expecting me to sync or swim..hmmm..personally, I don't think the way they are chucking responsibilities on me is a good way to sync or swim - I'm beginning to dislike working there, honestly. I am fussy, but this country is not the place for me to seek employment.

I may not be going to London anymore to pursue that double job offers, because the work permit process is really slowing down everything, when I have such limited time. WS Brussels are looking into a one month work placement for me, and they are more efficient and willing to sponsor me, so this lady who is the regional HR, Marie, is trying to help me with immigration stuff. I am optimisitc about Brussels, but still, unsure. I am devastated that the Home Office in London are taking their own sweet time when I have only very limited time to work there. Dang it!

If nothing in Europe go as planned, then I will seek employment from Reuters, or AFP(leading international newswires) or seek a chance from Leo Burnett(again!) or the local expat magazine. Now that would be interesting, wouldn't it?

Shermian, Esther and I had a food galore the whole week. Dined at the most expensive eateries, when we are actually not working properly yet, we went to Hard Rock Cafe, Bier Keller(the best German bar I've been, Jaegermeister rules!) , Madam Kwan's(best nasi lemak and laksa) and all these crazy places which offers good food at a very very pricey price..lol..

Esther has left, Shermian is leaving...and this leaves me with Evy. It's gonna be a boring farewell.